Missing idiot: A blonde on a trampoline

What do you think happens when her non-gymnast ass tries some back flips? FIND OUT HERE...

I think I saw this on Emergency 51 once

What do you do when you see a drunk guy about to jump off a bridge? Call the fire department, of course. That is, unless it's this particular fire department, where they run into you with the truck when you jump. Not for the faint of heart...

Tasers hurt

Think you could shake off a taser and walk 10 feet?



And we have another Dumbass of the Year nominee!

H/T: Tasty Booze

Interlude: Scary

NHL: Sean Avery rushed to hospital Wednesday in cardiac arrest
AHL: Minor league hockey player charged after caught streaking
LAX: Prom invite written on lacrosse players' bare bottoms
MLB: Other women made Rocket see fireworks, too
SOCCER: Ronaldo in hiding after cross-dressing prostitutes incident
F1: French court says it cannot ban Mosley orgy video
NFL: Pats' Moss has new group, hopes to race trucks
NFL: Bills to be paid $78M to play in Toronto
NFL: Former Titan Calico facing DUI indictment
OLYMPICS: Three pro-Tibet activists deported ahead of Oly torch
TENNIS: Internet betting companies win case against Roland Garros
CBB: Obama plays hoops with UNC
CFB: Nebraska OL Christensen faces July trial for sexual assault
ODD: Wisconsin man starts Web site devoted to roadkill
STUPID: Man arrested after trying to cash $360 billion check

UPDATE: Sean Avery has a lacerated spleen. Almost the same as cardiac arrest...

Beckham jersey leads to legal threats... between kids?

Here's how I would settle this dispute. Take a bat and beat them all over the head, then take the jersey and light it on fire. How about them apples?

It started when the two boys, teammates in the Honolulu Bulls soccer club, held up bright orange Beckham signs in the front row at Aloha Stadium Feb. 22 in hopes their hero would give them his game jersey.

Following the match, Beckham ran over, pointed to one of the boys, and handed him his jersey.

Who Beckham meant to give the jersey to depends on whom you ask.

You think I am being too harsh in my judgment? Read on...

The 9-year-old had possession first, said his parents, Wilfred and Satomi Ho, so they felt he should keep the jersey.

But the 10-year-old held his sign the entire game and that's the reason Beckham came to them, said his parents, Eric and Yoshika Kerr.

Their name is "Ho". Haha. Okay, sorry. Moving on...

Alexi Lalas, president and general manager of the Galaxy, agrees with me. Well, to a point...

"My suggestion is that the judge get a pair of scissors, cut the thing in half and give half to each," he said. "It's certainly not anything that we would ever want to have happen and certainly not anything that David or any of our players who hand out jerseys would have intended."

Word, Alexi. Why am I not surprised this little tiff occurred amongst soccer fans?

Dumbass of the Year Nominee: Playing chicken with a train guy

Watch as this dumbass tries showing off by daring a train to hit his ass. Then he trips. Whoopsie!



Cleanup in the underpants aisle! Cleanup in the underpants aisle!

Rollerblader uses glass door to help him stop

This guy is pretty good at rollerblading and doing his little tricks. The only thing he hasn't mastered yet is the stopping part. Oh, look a glass door...



H/T: Gorilla Mask

Massive, and I mean massive, bike faceplant

Happy fuckin' Monday. Welcome back to the grind. Maybe this will help you get your week started right, or at least make you not feel so shitty about the weekend ending. You could be this guy. As he says in the YouTube summary of the clip, "It hurt like a thousand woman hookers touching my anus." This I believe.



H/T: Attuworld

David Beckham proves sports are the only way to go

The man who said this...

"Their homework is so hard these days," Beckham, 30, said in an interview with the Mail on Sunday. "It's totally done differently to what I was teached when I was at school, and you know I was like 'Oh my God, I can't do this'."

... has like $300 million in the bank and is a worldwide phenomenon.

Oh yeah, did I mention that the kid whose homework he is talking about is SIX-YEARS OLD? Six. S-I-X. 6. Years old. His six-year old son...

Screw education, I am getting my kids in every fuckin' sports league in town and browbeating them into submission until they are good enough to become a professional something in a sport, any sport.

H/T: ohnotheydidnt via The Sporting Blog

This just in: Pacman Jones is still a dumbass

I'm sorry he was ever on my favorite NFL team. The invite actually says "WE GON MAKE IT RAIN!" I wouldn't worry about playing in the NFL again anytime soon, Adam.



H/T: Deadspin

The best guy getting tossed from a truck video you'll see today

I have no idea how old this clip is, so if you've seen it, watch it again, it's damn funny. Unfortunately, it appears the guy who got thrown may have survived.

Last video I upload from them. Fuckin' embedded ads...

Watch the airbag when you rock out to Queen

Somewhere Freddie Mercury is laughing his ass off as this moron gets KTFO from rocking out too hard to some Bohemian Rhapsody.



H/T: Gibbs12

The funniest story you will read all year

YesButNoButYes brings us this gem...


Click the image to enlarge or just read this:

"A 38-year-old Cole Avenue man reported that his home was invaded on Sept. 9. The man said he was sitting home alone masturbating and watching a pornographic movie when a man came down into the basement, holding a gun, and started to videotape him. The man said that before he left, the intruder fed his dog some mushrooms and the dog died."


Print this out for when you're having a shit day and it is sure to get better.


The dog being killed was just the cherry on top, no?

I've joked before about soccer, this time I'm serious

I've called for this several times but no one listens, maybe now they will. No... More... Soccer... Anywhere outside of the U.S... Seriously.

A stadium brawl at a soccer rivalry game left about 80 people wounded in the Colombian city of Cali late Saturday, 18 of them with stab wounds.

Clashes broke out among America de Cali's "Red Baron" fan club in the 82nd minute of the match with Deportivo de Cali and spread onto the field and around the Pascual Guerrero stadium.

Police fired tear gas as the brawlers lit firecrackers and tried to tear down fencing separating the stands from the field.

Fuckin' beautiful game, my ass. These people need hobbies. Do they have access to porn? I'm just sayin'. Maybe they need other ways to let off some steam.

Tensions flared over referee Wilman Roldan's decision not to call a penalty kick against Cali. America protested the no-call, players traded blows on the field and America coach Diego Edison Umana got into the fray, elbowing his Cali counterpart Daniel Carreno.

Cali Mayor Jorge Ivan Ospina called Umana "directly responsible" for the violence and said the stadium's stands would be closed temporarily.

Nice to see the higher ups in the government there have some perspective. Thank God I live in the U.S. No matter how bad it is here, it ain't this fuckin' crazy.



H/T: FanIQ for the video

Yahoo!/AP

Garage door: 1, Skater: 0

Not only does this guy look like he has no idea what to do with those fruit boots he's strapped on, he also gets pwned by a garage door.

Take a ride on The Redneck Rollercoaster

Words fail me.







I found my voice now... "Idiots."

The best staged nut shot you'll see today

I want to know what state these dopes live in so I can put a stickpin in it and never visit it ever again. Did he lose a bet or was he wearing a cup? I want to know!



I love how he slid himself up right into nutshotting distance and then acts all surprised when it hurts.

Break dancing is dangerous

Apparently The Ninja has a brother.



I love how he kept trying to dance. A for effort!

Now why would this get you fired?

So now you can't make a racist innuendo about stringing up a black man on the cover of a golf magazine?! What's next? No making fun of the crippled? No beating up old people for money? When does it end?!

Golfweek apologized Friday for putting a noose on the cover of its magazine to illustrate the controversy over a Golf Channel anchor's use of "lynch" in a comment about Tiger Woods. The editor responsible for the cover was replaced.

His name was Dave Seanor, in case you were curious who the wunderkind was behind this genius cover.

AP/ESPN

Dumbass of the Year nominee: Reggie Nelson

Jaguars safety, Reggie Nelson (#25 in the picture to the right), on Tom Brady's record-setting 26-for-28 performance in the Patriots' defeat of the Jaguars 31-20 yesterday:

"He ain't all that … He's all right," Nelson said.

"It was a check down game," Nelson said, suggesting that most of Brady's completions were short and underneath the pass coverage. "Anybody can go 26-of-28 in a dump-down game."

Appropriate responses prevailed in the Pats locker room.

"What?" Moss said. "It wasn't impressive? When you lose you're going to say things that (are) really inappropriate. You're talking about the MVP, that's Tom Brady. I'm not even going to respond to that."

"It was a little disappointing he missed two," smiled coach Bill Belichick.

Did we mention that Nelson is a rookie? Yeah.

Yahoo!