10 items you think make you cool, but don't

Being cool is normally subjective. But there are some things that unequivocally make you uncool. We’re not saying we’re cool, we’re just saying if you own any of these items, you’re not. READ MORE...

Noooooooooooooo! Kelly Brook is back with King Douche

Billy Zane is the anti-christ. That is THE ONLY explanation I have as to why (A) Kelly Brook ever dated him in the first place, and (B) she is BACK WITH HIM after dumping his no-talent, smug ass a few weeks ago.

Kelly Brook's romance with Billy Zane is back ON — after she told a pal: "He’s the one."

[...fork to the eye...]

...they spent the night together at a posh West London hotel after Billy persuaded her to give their four-year love another chance.

At least they say that she didn't have her big ole engagement ring on.

Sigh... Maybe these naked pics of Kelly will make me feel better...




The Sun

Sean Avery makes the NHL change their rules on the spot

NHL dope extraordinaire Sean Avery lived up to his billing as one of the biggest pests in the league by creating a screen on goalie Martin Brodeur this past weekend that was unlike any other seen in the history of the sport.



"I've played for 15 years in this league. I've been watching games for 33 years. I had never seen that in my life," Brodeur said. "I don't think that kind of behavior should be done in front of the net, but there is no rule for it."

There is now. The NHL wasted no time in making a rule change to stop such behavior (or behaviour for all of our Canadian friends).

"An unsportsmanlike conduct minor penalty will be interpreted and applied, effective immediately, to a situation when an offensive player positions himself facing the opposition goaltender and engages in actions such as waving his arms or stick in front of the goaltender's face, for the purpose of improperly interfering with and/or distracting the goaltender as opposed to positioning himself to try to make a play," Colin Campbell, the NHL director of hockey operations said in a statement.

I think Penguins forward Gary Roberts summed it up best when describing Avery's actions: "He's an idiot."

May-be... but he can pull trim like few others: Exhibits A and B.

SI/AP

The terrorists win: K-Fed paid (well) to attend his own party

Kevin Federline is going to be paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $175,000 to show up at his 30th birthday party at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas. Yeah. That's right. He is being paid more than I make in, well, a while, to show up at his own fucking birthday party. Why is this happening, you ask? I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.

"Kevin is a big spender, and a draw for the crowds. So the money he gets is nothing compared to the money they make," the source tells PageSix.com.

WHAT?! Kevin Federline is a draw for the crowds? For having done what?!! Who are these people? Why do they want to see him?! FUUUUCK!!

Dancing with the Devil (Rays)

As if finally getting the go ahead on a new stadium, changing their unis, and the team's name weren't enough, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays are now considering putting the Devil back in their team.

There has been no formal offer, actual wooing or even public displays of affection. But the Rays seem to have at least an eye on Barry Bonds, and team officials have recently talked internally about the all-time home run king who has been at the center of the steroids controversy.

And Carl Crawford had problems with Delmon Young?? Imagine him and Bonds in the same clubhouse. Yeehaw!

Bonds, 43, is seeking a chance to play and, adding to the potential plot, his agent, Jeff Borris, is in Tampa this week. But he wouldn't say Sunday night if, or how much, the Rays were interested.

If I were them I would do it. I despise Bonds with every fiber of my being, but they are at 80-1 to win the World Series and really what are the odds of them EVER overtaking the Yankees and Red Sox, even for one magic season? Why not get their brand in the news and maybe draw a few extra fans? Other than that whole integrity and honor thing, I mean.

Times

Philip Rivers is so full of crap

Yesterday Chargers backup QB Billy Volek led a 78-yard touchdown drive in the fourth quarter and scored a TD on a 1-yard quarterback sneak that put the Chargers ahead and eventually led to their upset of the Colts. So what did Philip (one L dammit) think of it?

Rivers said he could have returned to the game during that drive, but he didn't want to interrupt the momentum.

Yeah. He just took one for the team. Sure you did... sure you did, Philip (one L). Or should I call you Gramatica?

Tribune

T.O. loves him some him (TM)

As if Terrell Owens (or “to” as I like to refer to him) isn’t already enough of a Deutsche Bank, now he has gone and filed a trademark app for the phrase, “I Love Me Some Me.” That’s right. I shit you not.

Trademork