How the Roger Clemens AT&T commercial would go today

With all the recent developments surrounding Roger Clemens his old AT&T commercial with his wife Debbie really needed some updating. Thank goodness for the folks at Tirico Suave.



Here's the original if you need a point of reference.

Dos Equis is starting to piss me off

First off, the Dos Equis ads on my radio and television can stop right fucking now. I have heard and seen them 4,000,202 times. And I am not exaggerating. That is not hyperbole.

Second, they can stop because they are a complete and total ripoff of Chuck Norris Facts.

You're not interesting. You're not even entertaining. You're annoying. You're an actor with a fake voice done by another actor. You're a ripoff. I hate you. Go away.

I hope Chuck Norris finds you and plants a roundhouse kick to your head for ripping off his facts.

Other than that, great ad campaign, Dos Equis.

/rant

My new favorite Web site

So I was checking my Gmail when an ad for this Web site caught my eye.

I know what I'm gonna be doin' this coming weekend!

It's Danica Patrick Day!

Did you stock up on your Peak anti-freeze?



The ever-so-thoughful Governor of Illinois Rod Blagojevich says that today is "Danica Patrick Day" in the state. Blagojevich also called her "a new hero in Illinois." That's good, because the last heroes we had left because of the lack of available medical care and the crumbling educational system.

The governor also said in Friday's proclamation that he was honoring Patrick for her "sparkling achievements."

He does know she only won one race, right? By the way, Graham Rahal also won his first IndyCar race this year and he was only 19 years and 93 days old when he won (a record), but he isn't a woman. Which win is more impressive?

SI/AP

Trevor Immelman wins The Masters

Here's how he won it...



His competitors were apparently distracted by these two dopes following him around carrying an anchor. That and the fact that he wears a sweet Rolex.

Kobe Bryant jumps over LeBron's moving car (I think)

Either Kobe Bryant really did jump over LeBron James' speeding car or the folks at whatever shoe company Kobe endorses has a very talented advertising agency. Either way it's fun to watch and speculate.



UPDATE: He didn't really jump over the car. Thanks for ruining the fun, Kobe.

H/T: Ball Don't Lie

Don King makes me hate Crocs even more

I hate Sportaphile for bringing this ad to my attention, but as with everything I hate, I have to share it with you. Misery loves company you know.



Two questions immediately come to mind: 1) Why would Crocs want Don King for a spokesman? Can you just imagine him running around in those plastic pieces of shit? and 2) Why is Don King hawking them? Never mind, answered my own question... they paid him.

First, NASCAR was invaded by these things, and now boxing... ugh. (Sorry, Tim Tebow. Don't hurt me.)

So what's worse, Don King for Crocs or Bobby Knight selling cars?

Keep it pure? Huh?

The last thing on my mind after seeing this K-Swiss ad is something pure.



That's Alona Bondarenko, the 23rd ranked tennis player in the world, btw. New spots featuring tennis players Tommy Haas, Alona Bondarenko and Anna Kournikova, among others, will air this weekend during the Final Four. Goodie for us.

More Alona...



H/T: Sports Biz via With Leather

• Sweet videos from the L.A. Coliseum Saturday. (Red Sox Monster)
• Interview: WWE Diva Melina. (CollegeHumor)
• The light at the end of the tunnel. (The Third I)
• TSA forces woman to remove nipple ring with pliers. (Tasty Booze)
• Sexy commercial for Guess lingerie. (BBI)

Excellence in advertising

Can't argue.



H/T: YesButNoButYes

The Whole F'n Show is back

So, I'm back after a day without Internet and a day without being able to hold food down. My head still feels like someone dropped a bowling ball on it, but I am gonna try to power through this and entertain you today in the way that you've become accustomed.

What better way is there to get this party re-started than a video of one Adriana Lima doing a commercial for a phone company in a language I don't speak, but since she is in her underwear it doesn't really matter anyway, enjoy.

A little Spy Hunter anyone?

You're going to have to bear with me on this one if you're a youngin'. Remember the game Spy Hunter back in the '80's? Well, Pontiac has made a sweet new commercial using that game as a theme and I must say it brings back some memories. Like the time I got my ass beat for playing Spy Hunter instead of doing my homework. Those were the days, boy.

The future of print advertising

Now I have absolutely no use for a Fridge Backpack, but I may just have to buy one to support this company's idea of how to do marketing. Check out the diagram below and see if you notice anything odd, and by odd I mean totally awesome!



Do ya see it?

H/T: Geekologie

Lucy Pinder's breasts do a TV ad

In the clip below Lucy Pinder appears in an ad for something. I have no idea what the ad is for, all I see and think about are breasts when I watch it. If any of you reading this are gay men, please let me know what the ad is promoting (and why you are here?). I'd ask for a female to respond but I think even females will have a hard time focusing on the ad's message. Then again if the ad is for breast augmentation, mission accomplished!

David Beckham is hawking Sharpies now

Since he really needs the money, David Beckham has signed on to be the new face of Sharpie. You know, those cool markers that to sticks in his sock for his end zone celebrations. --->

Newell Rubbermaid Inc.'s Sharpie brand has signed the Los Angeles Galaxy's David Beckham as its global ambassador for a global campaign that launches soon.

Global ambassador? That sounds awesome! Does he get a cape and a scepter?

The campaign will seek to establish Sharpie as the "preferred autograph marker" and will laud the marker's other creative uses.

See reference to to above.

I decided to test out their product and it turns out that it does in fact work really well. I've even added my own autograph to something and it works great!



BizJournals

Sneak Preview: Tom Brady in Calvin Klein undies

According to the Post, Calvin Klein is in talks to turn Patriots quarterback Tom Brady into an underwear model. Jeezus, first Beckham in his draws, and now Tom? Here's a little sneak peek for the ladies as to what you'll be getting an eyeful of should Tom accept the gig with CK.

Foreign commercials are so much better

You know, they say Europeans are much more liberated when it comes to things related to sex and judging from these commercials, they were right. This first one is just incredible:

If that happened at my copier, I'd never leave its side... This next one is truly the only way to open a beer:

How come they never had those kinds of bottle openers when I go to the liquor store?

Oh yeah, this is Chris from IntentionalFoul.com and I'll be here pitching in... and to help guide you on your way.

Nothing says hockey tough like Sasson jeans

The year, 1979. The team, the New York Rangers. The pants, Sasson? Wait... wha? Despite this embarrassment, they somehow still reached the Stanley Cup Finals that year.



I think this falls right before setting the single-season goals scored record and just after being inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame on Phil Esposito's resume. He must have been proud since they actually made a second version!

H/T: AOL FanHouse

Best Sprite commercial evar

Once again, TV proves to be better in other countries.



H/T: Attuworld

The old NFL days were sweet

Nothing says football like smokes. Watch as Chris Schenkel (died: 2005, emphysema) shills for Marlboro while cartoon mascots represent the NFL teams of 1958.



H/T: Hogs Haven