Tomsele went shopping, is unsexy

Because I know you just HAVE to know everything that Athletic Fonzie and The Supermodel do, I shall share with you that the hunky Patriots QB did a little shopping with his GFF while on vacation in Europe this week. They were even seen snacking on gelato in Porto Fino, Italy! God, can you imagine having to write this drivel for a living? I mean, yes, I can imagine it... I am doing it for damn near free!

Think of being able to write shit like this everyday for a living, "Champion vacationers Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen enjoy a day of shopping in Porto Fino, Italy, yesterday." Plus you get to make up names like "glamazon galpal" for people like Gisele. Cool, huh?

Wow. Talk about your dream job.

By the way, something called The Boston Phoenix came out with its Unsexiest Men of the Year list and guess who was #1*? Our hero, Mr. Tom Brady. Guess the honeymoon with Boston is ovah.

That's okay, Tom. I still love you.

Oh and in case you missed it last week, the big news was that Tom took out the trash. I shit you not. (Click picture #2.)

*Okay, he was #100, but he was still on the list!

Herald

Gag reflex, engage!

Athletic Fonzie and The Supermodel put on a nice show for those in attendance at the Ermenegildo Zegna Store Opening in New York City. Patriots fans, why is your quarterback at a fucking clothing store opening? Shouldn't he be studying tape or lifting weights or something? He better have been getting paid. Of course he was getting paid... to be at a store that sells Italian suits... with his supermodel girlfriend... man, my life sucks.



You know the more I look at Gisele, the more I think she used to be a man. That's right, I said it. Your QB is having sex with a transsexual. BRING IT ON!



H/T: Lossip via With Leather

A possible Brady-Gisele sex tape?

I don't think the world is ready, but if rumors are true, it could exist.

According to the always reliable Post --

PHILIPPE on East 60th Street has allegedly videotaped celebrity customers as they frolicked in what they thought was a private room. The restaurant's private wine cellar is outfitted with hidden security cameras. And employees at the Chinese eatery have screened the videos after the stars leave, says an insider. "They've watched tape of Diddy and Sienna Miller hanging out and Tom Brady and Gisele [Bundchen] hooking up. They get a kick out of it, they laugh and comment on people," said our source. "Only a small circle of staffers there [knows] what's going on." A rep for Philippe confirmed there are cameras in the private rooms, especially where expensive wine is stored, "for security purposes," but claimed that "all tapes are deleted. It is completely and utterly false that anyone has access to view the videos at Philippe, which are maintained off-site at our corporate headquarters," said flack Ronn Torossian. "The privacy of our clientele is our foremost concern. . . . Any statement saying to the contrary is utterly and completely false." Bundchen's rep had no comment and Brady's rep did not return an e-mail.

Even if such a tape did exist, the government would have to intervene. The ladies of the world would suffer a simultaneous orgasm then spontaneously combust if such a tape were to be viewed with their human eyes. It's best for everyone if this tape is destroyed.

Sneak Preview: Tom Brady in Calvin Klein undies

According to the Post, Calvin Klein is in talks to turn Patriots quarterback Tom Brady into an underwear model. Jeezus, first Beckham in his draws, and now Tom? Here's a little sneak peek for the ladies as to what you'll be getting an eyeful of should Tom accept the gig with CK.

Bridget Moynahan gets a couple of digs in at Tom Brady

Bridget Moynahan, aka Tom Brady's baby momma, recently went on uber macho man Sam Harris' vlog and talked about what's been happening in her life. Sam was Bridget's "birth partner" after she and Tom parted ways. In this video, right around the 4:10 mark, Sam asks Bridget what the most difficult part of her pregnancy was and she sidesteps the question with, "You know what the most difficult part of this pregnancy was...", a not-so-subtle dig at Athletic Fonzie. Unfortunately Superbaby JET never actually makes an appearance because that would require us to have to bow down and send him money. At the 9:00 mark, Sam and Bridget get another little dig in at Tommy Boy as well, if you can make it that far.

Question for you: Is Bridget Moynahan a One-Percenter? If you had asked me that after Coyote Ugly came out I'd have said yes. Now, I'm not sure.

Taking joy in the misery of others: Patriots fan

If you spent any portion of last week perusing sports blogs you no doubt ran across the video of a Patriots fanatic named Victor Thompson getting his bald head tattooed to look like a Patriots helmet. One would assume that on Sunday, he wasn't real thrilled with the outcome of the game. One would be right.

"The minute the Giants got that (last second) touchdown I knew it was done ... it killed me," said Thompson.

Are you laughing yet?

The longtime fan grew up in Lowell, Mass., and was determined to support his team and its then-perfect season by making his skull a shrine to its season by transforming it into a replica of Brady's helmet.

Whoops!

He was thinking that once they won he might tattoo the Vince Lombardi Trophy on the top of his head. Not so much now though.

"After the game ended I started (partying) ... I woke up drunk. It was a good thing I had my helmet on," said Thompson with a laugh.

And, of course, he wondered if Tom Brady might have been a distracted by Gisele between the AFC Championship and the Super Bowl.

"Brady was playing with his old lady all week," said Thompson as he slumped in a chair and recalled the game.

So why did he do such a thing anyway? The reason would make David Puddy proud.

"I did it for myself and for the season. I am just supporting my team," said Thompson.

To complete the *ahem* look Thompson is planning to get his entire head tattooed silver like the real helmet. He also wants Brady to sign his skull with a tattoo gun to make it official. I wouldn't hold your breath on that one, Vic.

Citizen

How did Tom spend his evening?

I put together a new poll over at Epic Carnival asking how Tom Brady was able to console himself after the big loss. Head over there and vote while I am still recovering from having no Internet all morning. Oh well, it's not like there was any news I could have been reporting on from the weekend.

Tom Brady gives a halftime pep talk to his O-line

Inside the mind of Tom Brady as he warms up

Yeah, and I am the next President of the United States

The legendary SPORTSbyBROOKS dropped this piece of information on us today.

In case you can't read that, it says that according to ABC’s Good Morning America Web site visitors, 64% of women (and men) would rather date Eli Manning than Tom Brady.

Yeah, I can see that.

Tom Brady in a walking boot?

I had no idea that Tom Brady injured his foot Sunday (or before then), but TMZ has the video of him in a walking boot.

"Ah, you know, there's always bumps and bruises. I'll be ready for the Super Bowl," Brady said. "I'm not worried about that. I'm not missing this one. I'd have to be on a stretcher to miss this one. There will be treatment this week. In games like this, you get a little nicked up. It's nothing serious."

Patriots spokesman Stacey James wrote in an e-mail to The Associated Press late Monday night that the team had no comment on the photos.

Of course not. Bill Belichick wants us all to imagine we never saw them and will not have Brady on the injury report just to try to fool everyone. He's like the penguins in Madagascar, "You didn't see anything."

And since you are curious, yes there is also some obligatory footage of Gisele's tight booty in the vid as well.

UPDATE: Apparently his foot isn't THAT badly injured.

ESPN

Dumbass of the Year nominee: Reggie Nelson

Jaguars safety, Reggie Nelson (#25 in the picture to the right), on Tom Brady's record-setting 26-for-28 performance in the Patriots' defeat of the Jaguars 31-20 yesterday:

"He ain't all that … He's all right," Nelson said.

"It was a check down game," Nelson said, suggesting that most of Brady's completions were short and underneath the pass coverage. "Anybody can go 26-of-28 in a dump-down game."

Appropriate responses prevailed in the Pats locker room.

"What?" Moss said. "It wasn't impressive? When you lose you're going to say things that (are) really inappropriate. You're talking about the MVP, that's Tom Brady. I'm not even going to respond to that."

"It was a little disappointing he missed two," smiled coach Bill Belichick.

Did we mention that Nelson is a rookie? Yeah.

Yahoo!

That's 17-0, bitches...

Tom Brady is a wiener dog

Tom Brady was walking along yesterday in NYC (carrying a tiny little dog in a doggy carrier, how masculine) when a fan stopped him and introduced him to her dog named "Tom Brady." Oh the perks of being a hunky football star.



Whatever. There's a nice little bit of footage somewhere in there of Gisele's sweet ass. That's all that counts.

Tom Brady keeps his bitch in line

I like how while strolling around the Apple Tommy Boy has his bitch walking behind him like a goddamn NFL MVP should. Supermodel or not he is the effin' MVP. 16-0 baby.



Plus with her always walking behind him he is free to scope out trim without having to worry about her throwing daggers with her eyes when she busts him. At least that's how I play it when I am out with my supermodels. Don't hate the player, hate the game, ladies.



Splash

Brady tells Romo to keep Jess away from games

It seems that SuperTom has some advice for Tony “The Playa” Romo and that advice is to keep his buxom blonde out of the suites when he is playing.

“After that debacle of a game with Jessica being flashed on the screens during every play, Tom told Tony to put a stop to allowing Jess to come to games. Think about it: How often do you see Gisele [Bundchen] cheering Tom on?” said a friend of Brady’s.

Brady and Gisele have been dating for nearly a year, and according to a friend, even if the Patriots make the Super Bowl, “Gisele will likely know enough to keep away. Unlike Jessica, she realizes football is more than just a game, it’s his career.”

Now, are they saying that Jess is too dumb to realize that? Or are they saying that Jess sees being at the games as a way of getting more much-needed exposure after her recent bombs at the box office? Either way, I really don’t care. I just like looking at her on the tube and if that means the Cowboys’ season comes crashing down, all the better.

MSNBC