Who really is the sexiest female on the planet? (Sweet 16)

Every year publications with reputations for knowing what hot is put out their lists of the sexiest women in the world. Unfortunately the people doing the voting for those publications are morons. Lindsay Lohan? Beyonce? Jessica Alba? Heather Mills? Britney Spears? That's the best they could come up with? None of those ladies even made our Sweet Sixteen and with good reason. Take a look...

So here we are. It ain't gettin' any easier, folks. Just take a look at who made the Sweet Sixteen. Wow. That is some serious tuna there. Does Kate beat Shakira? Can Susan drop Monica? How about Stacy and Megan? Or Emmanuelle versus Charisma? There are no losers. Well actually there are, but one thing's for sure, we're the winners here. So who ya got now?

Kate Beckinsale | Shakira ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Kate Beckinsale 81.5% - Shakira 18.5%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Susan Ward | Monica Bellucci ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Monica Bellucci 57.9% - Susan Ward 42.1%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Stacy Keibler | Megan Fox ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Megan Fox 62.7% - Stacy Keibler 37.3%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Emmanuelle Chriqui | Charisma Carpenter ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Charisma Carpenter 70.1% - Emmanuelle Chriqui 29.9%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

The rest of the best:
THE SWEET SIXTEEN
Adriana Lima | Keeley Hazell
Heidi Klum | Cheryl Tweedy
Bar Refaeli | Petra Nemcova
Marisa Miller | Sandra Nilsson

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND TWO HERE. Those eliminated include: Jennifer Garner, Brooke Burke, Kelly Brook, Leeann Tweeden, Charlize Theron, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Elisha Cuthbert, Rachel McAdams, Ali Larter, Sofia Vergara, Torrie Wilson, Penelope Cruz, Keira Knightley, Jessica Alba, and Eva Mendes.

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND ONE HERE. Those eliminated include: Miranda Kerr, Reese Witherspoon, Christina Aguilera, Ingrid Vandebosch, Jessica Simpson, Shania Twain, Gabrielle Union, Jaime Pressly, Natalie Portman, Rihanna, Elin Nordegren, Alyssa Milano, Maria Menounos, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Joanna Krupa, Beyonce Knowles, Minka Kelly, Angelina Jolie, Katherine Heigl, Salma Hayek, Nelly Furtado, Willa Ford, Carmen Electra, Ciara, Amanda Bynes, Sophia Bush, Gisele Bundchen, Rachel Bilson, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, and Alessandra Ambrosio.

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet? (R2)

You know the drill by now. Others have tried with poor levels of success to determine who the sexiest woman in the world is...

Maxim: Lindsay Lohan WRONG!
AskMen: Beyonce Knowles Eh.
FHM USA: Jessica Alba Maybe.
FHM Britain: Heather Mills Uh, What?
Hello: Britney Spears Now they're just messing with us.

We can do better.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Just four more matches and we have our Very Sweet Sixteen, folks! Marisa Miller, Bar Refaeli, and Charisma Carpenter are now a part of that group, while Scarlett Johansson, Charlize Theron, and Jessica Biel were sent packing. The last matches of the second round are all set! Who you got?!

Cheryl Tweedy | Leeann Tweeden ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Cheryl Tweedy 56.4% - Leeann Tweeden 43.6%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Emmanuelle Chriqui | Kelly Brook ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Emmanuelle Chriqui 59.1% - Kelly Brook 40.9%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Brooke Burke | Keeley Hazell ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Keeley Hazell 56.1% - Brooke Burke 43.9%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Susan Ward | Jennifer Garner ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Susan Ward 67.1% - Jennifer Garner 32.9%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP


The rest of the best:
ROUND TWO
Charlize Theron | Bar Refaeli : Refaeli 57.9% - Theron 42.1%
Jessica Biel | Marisa Miller : Miller 57.9% - Biel 42.1%
Charisma Carpenter | S. Johansson : Carpenter 55.7% - Johansson 44.3%
Elisha Cuthbert | Monica Bellucci : Bellucci 52.7% - Cuthbert 41.3%
Heidi Klum | Rachel McAdams : Klum 58.4% - McAdams 41.6%
Ali Larter | Shakira : Shakira 51.4% - Larter 48.6%
Stacy Keibler | Sofia Vergara : Keibler 60.2% - Vergara 39.8%
Petra Nemcova | Torrie Wilson : Nemcova 56.4% - Wilson 43.6%
Penelope Cruz | Sandra Nilsson : Nilsson 57.7% - Cruz 42.3%
Keira Knightley | Kate Beckinsale : Beckinsale 76.8% - Knightley 23.2%
Megan Fox | Jessica Alba : Fox 53.0% - Alba 47.0%
Adriana Lima | Eva Mendes : Lima 58.5% - Mendes 41.5%

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND ONE HERE. Those eliminated include: Miranda Kerr, Reese Witherspoon, Christina Aguilera, Ingrid Vandebosch, Jessica Simpson, Shania Twain, Gabrielle Union, Jaime Pressly, Natalie Portman, Rihanna, Elin Nordegren, Alyssa Milano, Maria Menounos, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Joanna Krupa, Beyonce Knowles, Minka Kelly, Angelina Jolie, Katherine Heigl, Salma Hayek, Nelly Furtado, Willa Ford, Carmen Electra, Ciara, Amanda Bynes, Sophia Bush, Gisele Bundchen, Rachel Bilson, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, and Alessandra Ambrosio.

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet?

You know the drill by now. Others have tried with poor levels of success to determine who the sexiest woman in the world is...

Maxim: Lindsay Lohan WRONG!
AskMen: Beyonce Knowles Eh.
FHM USA: Jessica Alba Maybe.
FHM Britain: Heather Mills Uh, What?
Hello: Britney Spears Now they're just messing with us.

We can do better.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Three more down and three more move on. Charlize Theron, Leeann Tweeden and Cheryl Tweedy all moved on to round two, while Jessica Simpson, Shania Twain and Gabrielle Union head back home. Only four more matches to go in round one. Next up is new mom Christina Aguilera taking on a Reader's Choice in Emmanuelle Chriqui, while NASCAR WAG Ingrid Vandebosch takes on Susan Ward. Who you got, people?

Be sure to let us know who you want in the Final Two Readers' Choice spots! Last chance to have your voice heard!

Christina Aguilera | Emmanuelle Chriqui ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Emmanuelle Chriqui 62.4% - Christina Aguilera 37.6%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Ingrid Vandebosch | Susan Ward ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Susan Ward 64.1% - Ingrid Vandebosch 35.9%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

The rest of the best:
Torrie Wilson | ______________Your Choice
Reese Witherspoon | ______________Your Choice
Jessica Simpson | Charlize Theron : Theron 57.3% - Simpson 42.7%
Shania Twain | Leeann Tweeden : Tweeden 61.1% - Twain 38.9%
Cheryl Tweedy | Gabrielle Union : Tweedy 60.7% - Union 39.3%
Sandra Nilsson | Jaime Pressly : Nilsson 55.3% - Pressly 44.7%
Natalie Portman | Bar Refaeli : Refaeli 67.3% - Portman 32.7%
Rihanna | Shakira : Shakira 67.4% - Rihanna 32.6%
Petra Nemcova | Elin Nordegren : Nemcova 77.1% - Nordegren 22.9%
Alyssa Milano | Marisa Miller : Miller 67.1% - Milano 32.9%
Eva Mendes | Maria Menounos : Mendes 50.3% - Menounos 49.7%
Eva Longoria | Rachel McAdams : McAdams 56.6% - Longoria 43.4%
Adriana Lima | Lindsay Lohan : Lima 86.5% - Lohan 16.5%
Joanna Krupa | Ali Larter : Larter 56.6% - Krupa 43.4%
Keira Knightley | Beyonce Knowles : Knightley 51.2% - Knowles 48.8%
Minka Kelly | Heidi Klum : Klum 67.5% - Kelly 32.5%
Angelina Jolie | Stacy Keibler : Keibler 51.5% - Jolie 48.5%
Katherine Heigl | Scarlett Johansson : Johansson 57.4% - Heigl 42.6%
Salma Hayek | Keeley Hazell : Hazell 58.9% - Hayek 41.1%
Nelly Furtado | Jennifer Garner : Garner 58.0% - Furtado 42.0%
Megan Fox | Willa Ford : Fox 81.0% - Ford 19.0%
Elisha Cuthbert | Carmen Electra : Cuthbert 55.9% - Electra 44.1%
Ciara | Penelope Cruz : Cruz 71.7% - Ciara 28.3%
Amanda Bynes | Charisma Carpenter : Carpenter 66.2% - Bynes 33.8%
Brooke Burke | Sophia Bush : Burke 62.6% - Bush 37.4%
Gisele Bundchen | Kelly Brook : Brook 59.2% - Bundchen 40.8%
Jessica Biel | Rachel Bilson : Biel 66.6% - Bilson 33.4%
Monica Bellucci | Halle Berry : Bellucci 69.1% - Berry 30.9%
Jennifer Aniston | Kate Beckinsale : Beckinsale 78.6% - Aniston 21.4%
Jessica Alba | Alessandra Ambrosio : Alba 50.5% - Ambrosio 49.5%

Susan Ward is a One-Percenter

She falls somewhere in my top 1% of all hot women in the world. I have been familiar with her for years, but she vanished off the face of the map and has suddenly reappeared… thank you.

My only question is, why isn't she getting more starring roles? If she needs work, I have a few things I can pay her to do.