Who really is the sexiest female on the planet? (Sweet 16)

Every year publications with reputations for knowing what hot is put out their lists of the sexiest women in the world. Unfortunately the people doing the voting for those publications are morons. Lindsay Lohan? Beyonce? Jessica Alba? Heather Mills? Britney Spears? That's the best they could come up with? None of those ladies even made our Sweet Sixteen and with good reason. Take a look...

So here we are. It ain't gettin' any easier, folks. Just take a look at who made the Sweet Sixteen. Wow. That is some serious tuna there. Does Kate beat Shakira? Can Susan drop Monica? How about Stacy and Megan? Or Emmanuelle versus Charisma? There are no losers. Well actually there are, but one thing's for sure, we're the winners here. So who ya got now?

Kate Beckinsale | Shakira ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Kate Beckinsale 81.5% - Shakira 18.5%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Susan Ward | Monica Bellucci ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Monica Bellucci 57.9% - Susan Ward 42.1%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Stacy Keibler | Megan Fox ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Megan Fox 62.7% - Stacy Keibler 37.3%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Emmanuelle Chriqui | Charisma Carpenter ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Charisma Carpenter 70.1% - Emmanuelle Chriqui 29.9%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

The rest of the best:
THE SWEET SIXTEEN
Adriana Lima | Keeley Hazell
Heidi Klum | Cheryl Tweedy
Bar Refaeli | Petra Nemcova
Marisa Miller | Sandra Nilsson

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND TWO HERE. Those eliminated include: Jennifer Garner, Brooke Burke, Kelly Brook, Leeann Tweeden, Charlize Theron, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Elisha Cuthbert, Rachel McAdams, Ali Larter, Sofia Vergara, Torrie Wilson, Penelope Cruz, Keira Knightley, Jessica Alba, and Eva Mendes.

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND ONE HERE. Those eliminated include: Miranda Kerr, Reese Witherspoon, Christina Aguilera, Ingrid Vandebosch, Jessica Simpson, Shania Twain, Gabrielle Union, Jaime Pressly, Natalie Portman, Rihanna, Elin Nordegren, Alyssa Milano, Maria Menounos, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Joanna Krupa, Beyonce Knowles, Minka Kelly, Angelina Jolie, Katherine Heigl, Salma Hayek, Nelly Furtado, Willa Ford, Carmen Electra, Ciara, Amanda Bynes, Sophia Bush, Gisele Bundchen, Rachel Bilson, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, and Alessandra Ambrosio.

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet? (R2)

You know the drill by now. Others have tried with poor levels of success to determine who the sexiest woman in the world is...

Maxim: Lindsay Lohan WRONG!
AskMen: Beyonce Knowles Eh.
FHM USA: Jessica Alba Maybe.
FHM Britain: Heather Mills Uh, What?
Hello: Britney Spears Now they're just messing with us.

We can do better.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This is why I try not to make predictions in this tournament. I would have bet on Penny Cruz moving further, as well as Sofia Vergara, but the people have spoken. Sandra Nilsson, Petra Nemcova, and Stacy Keibler all move on to round three with Penny, Sofia, and Torrie Wilson grabbing some bench. Not that I am complaining about the winners, of course. They're wicked sexy. Anyway, we're one step closer to crowning our queen. So, who you got in these next three matches? Elisha or Monica? Heidi or Rachel? Ali or Shakira? Life is so full of tough decisions, isn't it?

Ali Larter | Shakira ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Shakira 51.4% - Ali Larter 48.6%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Heidi Klum | Rachel McAdams ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Heidi Klum 58.4% - Rachel McAdams 41.6%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Elisha Cuthbert | Monica Bellucci ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Monica Bellucci 52.7% - Elisha Cuthbert 47.3%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP


The rest of the best:
ROUND TWO
Charlize Theron | Bar Refaeli
Jessica Biel | Marisa Miller
Charisma Carpenter | Scarlett Johansson
Susan Ward | Jennifer Garner
Brooke Burke | Keeley Hazell
Emmanuelle Chriqui | Kelly Brook
Cheryl Tweedy | Leeann Tweeden
Stacy Keibler | Sofia Vergara : Keibler 60.2% - Vergara 39.8%
Petra Nemcova | Torrie Wilson : Nemcova 56.4% - Wilson 43.6%
Penelope Cruz | Sandra Nilsson : Nilsson 57.7% - Cruz 42.3%
Keira Knightley | Kate Beckinsale : Beckinsale 76.8% - Knightley 23.2%
Megan Fox | Jessica Alba : Fox 53.0% - Alba 47.0%
Adriana Lima | Eva Mendes : Lima 58.5% - Mendes 41.5%

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND ONE HERE. Those eliminated include: Miranda Kerr, Reese Witherspoon, Christina Aguilera, Ingrid Vandebosch, Jessica Simpson, Shania Twain, Gabrielle Union, Jaime Pressly, Natalie Portman, Rihanna, Elin Nordegren, Alyssa Milano, Maria Menounos, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Joanna Krupa, Beyonce Knowles, Minka Kelly, Angelina Jolie, Katherine Heigl, Salma Hayek, Nelly Furtado, Willa Ford, Carmen Electra, Ciara, Amanda Bynes, Sophia Bush, Gisele Bundchen, Rachel Bilson, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, and Alessandra Ambrosio.

Shakira has a sex tape too?

I guess it's sex tape week! Will the list of celebrities either being photographed naked or being caught on a sex tape ever end? We sure hope not! Now it's music sensation Shakira who is rumored to have participated in a three-way with two guys. While we would love nothing more than for this to be true, the reports and "proof" seem rather dubious.



Supposedly this new tape contains Shakira in a threesome with her boyfriend Antonio De La Rua and singer Alejandro Sanz. The singer's representatives say, "This is a false rumour. This is totally absurd any way you look at it. There is no possibility that such a video exists. It is a baseless and malicious rumour."

The timing of this around April Fool's Day makes me a bit skeptical as I said, but some people think that the tape or tapes exist. Rest assured, if they do exist, I'll be sure to let you know where to find them.

When I did a cursory search for the video, here's what I found: Boring and lame. Now if you run across a porn video of a guy who uses the name Chief Jay Schlonglow, I am denying that it's me right now.

UPDATE: As I figured, it was an April Fool's Day hoax. Too bad.

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet?

Okay, we're going to crank this contest up a bit. You know the drill by now. Others have tried with poor levels of success to determine who the sexiest woman in the world is...

Maxim: Lindsay Lohan WRONG!
AskMen: Beyonce Knowles Eh.
FHM USA: Jessica Alba Maybe.
FHM Britain: Heather Mills Uh, What?
Hello: Britney Spears Now they're just messing with us.

We can do better.

We're also going to be doing these three at a time now until we get near the end.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Our latest match saw Petra Nemcova absolutely destroy Tiger's wife Elin Nordegren. I guess she isn't as hot as I thought. Next up will be little-known hottie Sandra Nilsson taking on Jaime Pressly, Natalie Portman taking on Leo's girl Bar Refaeli, and two one-name wonders with Rihanna taking on Shakira. Who you got?

And be sure to let us know who you want in the three Readers' Choice spots! Time's a tickin' away!

Sandra Nilsson | Jaime Pressly ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Sandra Nilsson 55.3% - Jaime Pressly 44.7%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Natalie Portman | Bar Refaeli ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Bar Refaeli 67.3% - Natalie Portman 32.7%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Rihanna | Shakira ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Shakira 67.4% - Rihanna 32.6%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

The rest of the best:
Christina Aguilera | ______________Your Choice
Jessica Simpson | Charlize Theron
Shania Twain | Leeann Tweeden
Cheryl Tweedy | Gabrielle Union
Ingrid Vandebosch | Susan Ward
Torrie Wilson | ______________Your Choice
Reese Witherspoon | ______________Your Choice
Petra Nemcova | Elin Nordegren : Nemcova 77.1% - Nordegren 22.9%
Alyssa Milano | Marisa Miller : Miller 67.1% - Milano 32.9%
Eva Mendes | Maria Menounos : Mendes 50.3% - Menounos 49.7%
Eva Longoria | Rachel McAdams : McAdams 56.6% - Longoria 43.4%
Adriana Lima | Lindsay Lohan : Lima 86.5% - Lohan 16.5%
Joanna Krupa | Ali Larter : Larter 56.6% - Krupa 43.4%
Keira Knightley | Beyonce Knowles : Knightley 51.2% - Knowles 48.8%
Minka Kelly | Heidi Klum : Klum 67.5% - Kelly 32.5%
Angelina Jolie | Stacy Keibler : Keibler 51.5% - Jolie 48.5%
Katherine Heigl | Scarlett Johansson : Johansson 57.4% - Heigl 42.6%
Salma Hayek | Keeley Hazell : Hazell 58.9% - Hayek 41.1%
Nelly Furtado | Jennifer Garner : Garner 58.0% - Furtado 42.0%
Megan Fox | Willa Ford : Fox 81.0% - Ford 19.0%
Elisha Cuthbert | Carmen Electra : Cuthbert 55.9% - Electra 44.1%
Ciara | Penelope Cruz : Cruz 71.7% - Ciara 28.3%
Amanda Bynes | Charisma Carpenter : Carpenter 66.2% - Bynes 33.8%
Brooke Burke | Sophia Bush : Burke 62.6% - Bush 37.4%
Gisele Bundchen | Kelly Brook : Brook 59.2% - Bundchen 40.8%
Jessica Biel | Rachel Bilson : Biel 66.6% - Bilson 33.4%
Monica Bellucci | Halle Berry : Bellucci 69.1% - Berry 30.9%
Jennifer Aniston | Kate Beckinsale : Beckinsale 78.6% - Aniston 21.4%
Jessica Alba | Alessandra Ambrosio : Alba 50.5% - Ambrosio 49.5%

Wanna see a $12.5M+ Super Bowl commerical?

Too bad. You're going to. Sunsilk paid Madonna $10 million and Shakira $2.5 million to do this spot for them on Sunday.



So how do you feel about the pay at your job now?

Excuse me while I kill myself.