Noooooooooooooo! Kelly Brook is back with King Douche

Billy Zane is the anti-christ. That is THE ONLY explanation I have as to why (A) Kelly Brook ever dated him in the first place, and (B) she is BACK WITH HIM after dumping his no-talent, smug ass a few weeks ago.

Kelly Brook's romance with Billy Zane is back ON — after she told a pal: "He’s the one."

[...fork to the eye...]

...they spent the night together at a posh West London hotel after Billy persuaded her to give their four-year love another chance.

At least they say that she didn't have her big ole engagement ring on.

Sigh... Maybe these naked pics of Kelly will make me feel better...




The Sun

Kelly Brook is a weapon of mass destruction

If there was a chick in our Armed Forces that looked like Kelly Brook and she dressed like this, we could rule the world. By we, I mean the U.S. and the U.K. jointly, because, well, dammit... when do we get our own queen?!



Kelly Brook, fighting for your right to view gratuitous T&A. Godspeed, Kelly.

Kelly Brook's coconuts

The newly single Kelly Brook is making the most of her free time by posing on the beach in a bikini bathing suit with some coconuts. You know, if she'd asked me what she should be doing now that she dropped her giant asshat boyfriend, I would have suggested that very thing.



Not sure what she's doing in those bottom two photos, but I like it.

YES! Kelly Brook and Billy Zane split up!

Thank you, Lord. Billy Zane is such an asshat. The fact that he somehow managed to pull Kelly Brook burned my ass to no end. But now, it's OVAH, baby!

"We can confirm that Kelly and Billy have split," Brook's manager, John Fowler, tells Usmagazine.com.

Weeeee!!!

Let's celebrate with some Kelly Brook pics just to show Billy what he is losing. Eat it, Zane, you douche!



This is Kelly at the British Academy Television Awards and she is NOT wearing her engagement ring. Yay, again!

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet? (R2)

You know the drill by now. Others have tried with poor levels of success to determine who the sexiest woman in the world is...

Maxim: Lindsay Lohan WRONG!
AskMen: Beyonce Knowles Eh.
FHM USA: Jessica Alba Maybe.
FHM Britain: Heather Mills Uh, What?
Hello: Britney Spears Now they're just messing with us.

We can do better.

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Just four more matches and we have our Very Sweet Sixteen, folks! Marisa Miller, Bar Refaeli, and Charisma Carpenter are now a part of that group, while Scarlett Johansson, Charlize Theron, and Jessica Biel were sent packing. The last matches of the second round are all set! Who you got?!

Cheryl Tweedy | Leeann Tweeden ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Cheryl Tweedy 56.4% - Leeann Tweeden 43.6%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Emmanuelle Chriqui | Kelly Brook ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Emmanuelle Chriqui 59.1% - Kelly Brook 40.9%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Brooke Burke | Keeley Hazell ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Keeley Hazell 56.1% - Brooke Burke 43.9%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Susan Ward | Jennifer Garner ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Susan Ward 67.1% - Jennifer Garner 32.9%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP


The rest of the best:
ROUND TWO
Charlize Theron | Bar Refaeli : Refaeli 57.9% - Theron 42.1%
Jessica Biel | Marisa Miller : Miller 57.9% - Biel 42.1%
Charisma Carpenter | S. Johansson : Carpenter 55.7% - Johansson 44.3%
Elisha Cuthbert | Monica Bellucci : Bellucci 52.7% - Cuthbert 41.3%
Heidi Klum | Rachel McAdams : Klum 58.4% - McAdams 41.6%
Ali Larter | Shakira : Shakira 51.4% - Larter 48.6%
Stacy Keibler | Sofia Vergara : Keibler 60.2% - Vergara 39.8%
Petra Nemcova | Torrie Wilson : Nemcova 56.4% - Wilson 43.6%
Penelope Cruz | Sandra Nilsson : Nilsson 57.7% - Cruz 42.3%
Keira Knightley | Kate Beckinsale : Beckinsale 76.8% - Knightley 23.2%
Megan Fox | Jessica Alba : Fox 53.0% - Alba 47.0%
Adriana Lima | Eva Mendes : Lima 58.5% - Mendes 41.5%

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND ONE HERE. Those eliminated include: Miranda Kerr, Reese Witherspoon, Christina Aguilera, Ingrid Vandebosch, Jessica Simpson, Shania Twain, Gabrielle Union, Jaime Pressly, Natalie Portman, Rihanna, Elin Nordegren, Alyssa Milano, Maria Menounos, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Joanna Krupa, Beyonce Knowles, Minka Kelly, Angelina Jolie, Katherine Heigl, Salma Hayek, Nelly Furtado, Willa Ford, Carmen Electra, Ciara, Amanda Bynes, Sophia Bush, Gisele Bundchen, Rachel Bilson, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, and Alessandra Ambrosio.

More Kelly Brook nakedness

Seeing as how you are all such fans of Kelly Brook (as evidenced here, here, and here), I figured you wouldn't mind me doing yet another post on the British beauty. And I also figured you wouldn't mind me posting these photos of her frolicking on the beach in various stages of undress.



Did you know that Kelly sometimes designs her own swimwear? I give her an A+ on this effort.

Kelly Brook crackass

Since you all seemed to enjoy Kelly Brook's naked boobies and bikini body so much, I figured these shots of Kelly having a sitdown with her ass hanging out of her draws might be of interest to you.



She's having lunch with her oh-so-fucking-annoying and arrogant boyfriend Billy Zane and he was originally in a couple of the pics, but since I hate him, I cropped him out. You're welcome.

You know, if you printed these out, you could make a little flip-book that shows her covering her ass up like it was in a movie. A really, really short and kinda boring movie.

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet?

There have been many attempts to determine who the sexiest woman in the world is at various times throughout history. Maxim tries it every year. FHM does too. AskMen.com does as well. The results of their polls are dubious at best. (see Lohan, Lindsay). Are you really going to sit there and tell me that Lindsay Lohan is the sexiest woman in the whole world, Maxim reader? C'mon. Beyonce? I guess... Jessica Alba? Getting warmer.

I think that YOU and I can do better. So, I am taking names off of those two lists, adding and subtracting where I see fit, and letting you decide who REALLY is the sexiest woman on the planet.

I am also reserving the final three spots for the ladies who are suggested the most by you, the reader. So let me know who I am missing and who MUST be on this list.

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I must say I was rather surprised that Miss Biel laid such an ass-whoopin' on Miss Bilson, but the people have spoken and Jessica moves on with a 66.6% to 33.4% victory. This next match will be interesting to see whether any of the Tom Brady/Gisele-mania causes a backlash for the supermodel as she takes on Kelly Brook. So who you got? And remember to comment with your suggestions for the open slots!

Gisele Bundchen | Kelly Brook ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Kelly Brook 59.2% - Gisele Bundchen 40.8%

CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

The rest of the best:
Christina Aguilera | ______________Your Choice
Brooke Burke | Sophia Bush
Amanda Bynes | Charisma Carpenter
Ciara | Penelope Cruz
Elisha Cuthbert | Carmen Electra
Willa Ford | Megan Fox
Nelly Furtado | Jennifer Garner
Salma Hayek | Keeley Hazell
Katherine Heigl | Scarlett Johansson
Angelina Jolie | Stacy Keibler
Minka Kelly | Heidi Klum
Keira Knightley | Beyonce Knowles
Joanna Krupa | Ali Larter
Adriana Lima | Lindsay Lohan
Eva Longoria | Rachel McAdams
Eva Mendes | Maria Menounos
Alyssa Milano | Marisa Miller
Petra Nemcova | Elin Nordegren
Sandra Nilsson | Jaime Pressly
Natalie Portman | Bar Refaeli
Rihanna | Shakira
Jessica Simpson | Charlize Theron
Shania Twain | Leeann Tweeden
Cheryl Tweedy | Gabrielle Union
Ingrid Vandebosch | Susan Ward
Torrie Wilson | ______________Your Choice
Reese Witherspoon | ______________Your Choice
Jessica Biel | Rachel Bilson : Biel 66.6% - Bilson 33.4%
Monica Bellucci | Halle Berry : Bellucci 69.1% - Berry 30.9%
Jennifer Aniston | Kate Beckinsale : Beckinsale 78.6% - Aniston 21.4%
Jessica Alba | Alessandra Ambrosio : Alba 50.5% - Ambrosio 49.5%

Kelly Brook suns her breasts

The other day I posted some photos of Kelly Brook in a bikini. It was a massive letdown as the photos pretty much sucked and she really didn’t look like the Kelly Brook I have grown to lust. Today, I make up for it.

So why do I still feel let down?

We loves us some Kelly Brook

Kelly Brook. What exactly is she famous for again? Oh yeah, having big tatas and not being afraid to show ‘em. Bless her and those like her.