Jessica Simpson calls Tony Romo "irreplaceable"

We'll see how "irreplaceable" T-Romo is if he gets off to a slow start in September. As for how "irreplaceable" Jessica thinks Romo is, well, let's just say this, "RUN, TONY, RUN! RUN NOW! FAR, FAR, AWAY!"

Us Weekly reports in its latest issue that Jessica Simpson is calling Tony Romo her "future husband."

Uh oh.

She says she even wrote him a song, "Back in My Old Boots."

Oh shit. Dude, she's writing songs for you. While in your lovey-dovey haze, that might seem to be a good thing, I assure it's not.

She dismisses critics who claimed she jinxed his career by showing up at one of his football games that he lost last year.

"Everybody takes everything out on me! But that was ludicrous," she says. "I don't understand why they think that I would be a distraction to Tony. Do they really think he can see way far up in that box? No."

Oh so many ways to go here, but I'll restrain myself. At least we know that ole Tony isn't one to dick around...

He tried to kiss her on their first date. "I was taken aback....

"The fact that this guy, on our first date, in the first 10 minutes of dinner, wanted to lean over the table and say, 'This is my girl, and I want to kiss her' -- our first kiss in front of everybody -- was awesome," she says.

You're my boy, Blue. Now then, who's number two on the Cowboys' depth chart at QB?

Us Magazine

Jessica Simpson is cold in Esquire; likes to strip

Apparently wherever it is that Esquire sends its photographers to take pictures of hot babes has a real problem with the heating system. First, Kate Beckinsale was all chilled in her photo shoot and now Jessica Simpson looks a little nippy.



Looks like they might also have a little water problem too.

I bet this is kind of what it looks like when Jessica does her strip tease for Tony Romo on her Web cam. And I quote, "Jess has no problem showing Tony her favorite Pussycat Dolls routine. ... She will dance in front of her camera until she makes her man happy. ... She thinks it keeps the romance alive while they are far away from each other." (I am really starting to dislike Tony Romo, btw.)

• Jessica’s mom: Simpson & Romo secretly married (SbB)
• Hideki Matsui marries a drawing, wins bet against Jeter. (FanIQ)

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet?

You know the drill by now. Others have tried with poor levels of success to determine who the sexiest woman in the world is...

Maxim: Lindsay Lohan WRONG!
AskMen: Beyonce Knowles Eh.
FHM USA: Jessica Alba Maybe.
FHM Britain: Heather Mills Uh, What?
Hello: Britney Spears Now they're just messing with us.

We can do better.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Three more matches in the books. Moving on are Sandra Nilsson, Bar Refaeli and Shakira. Going home are Jaime Pressly, Natalie Portman and Rihanna. Which brings us to three new matches! First up is Tony Romo's GFF Jessica Simpson taking on Charlize Theron, then we have a battle, and I do mean battle, of Shania Twain and Leeann Tweeden, and last but not least we see Cheryl Tweedy taking on Gabrielle Union. Who you got this time, folks?!

Be sure to let us know who you want in the three Readers' Choice spots! Last chance to have your voice heard!

Jessica Simpson | Charlize Theron ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Charlize Theron 57.3% - Jessica Simpson 42.7%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Shania Twain | Leeann Tweeden ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Leanna Tweeden 61.1% - Shania Twain 38.9%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Cheryl Tweedy | Gabrielle Union ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Cheryl Tweedy 60.7% - Gabrielle Union 39.3%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

The rest of the best:
Christina Aguilera | ______________Your Choice
Ingrid Vandebosch | Susan Ward
Torrie Wilson | ______________Your Choice
Reese Witherspoon | ______________Your Choice
Sandra Nilsson | Jaime Pressly : Nilsson 55.3% - Pressly 44.7%
Natalie Portman | Bar Refaeli : Refaeli 67.3% - Portman 32.7%
Rihanna | Shakira : Shakira 67.4% - Rihanna 32.6%
Petra Nemcova | Elin Nordegren : Nemcova 77.1% - Nordegren 22.9%
Alyssa Milano | Marisa Miller : Miller 67.1% - Milano 32.9%
Eva Mendes | Maria Menounos : Mendes 50.3% - Menounos 49.7%
Eva Longoria | Rachel McAdams : McAdams 56.6% - Longoria 43.4%
Adriana Lima | Lindsay Lohan : Lima 86.5% - Lohan 16.5%
Joanna Krupa | Ali Larter : Larter 56.6% - Krupa 43.4%
Keira Knightley | Beyonce Knowles : Knightley 51.2% - Knowles 48.8%
Minka Kelly | Heidi Klum : Klum 67.5% - Kelly 32.5%
Angelina Jolie | Stacy Keibler : Keibler 51.5% - Jolie 48.5%
Katherine Heigl | Scarlett Johansson : Johansson 57.4% - Heigl 42.6%
Salma Hayek | Keeley Hazell : Hazell 58.9% - Hayek 41.1%
Nelly Furtado | Jennifer Garner : Garner 58.0% - Furtado 42.0%
Megan Fox | Willa Ford : Fox 81.0% - Ford 19.0%
Elisha Cuthbert | Carmen Electra : Cuthbert 55.9% - Electra 44.1%
Ciara | Penelope Cruz : Cruz 71.7% - Ciara 28.3%
Amanda Bynes | Charisma Carpenter : Carpenter 66.2% - Bynes 33.8%
Brooke Burke | Sophia Bush : Burke 62.6% - Bush 37.4%
Gisele Bundchen | Kelly Brook : Brook 59.2% - Bundchen 40.8%
Jessica Biel | Rachel Bilson : Biel 66.6% - Bilson 33.4%
Monica Bellucci | Halle Berry : Bellucci 69.1% - Berry 30.9%
Jennifer Aniston | Kate Beckinsale : Beckinsale 78.6% - Aniston 21.4%
Jessica Alba | Alessandra Ambrosio : Alba 50.5% - Ambrosio 49.5%

OMG! Tonica went out in public again!

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo were "caught" leaving the Villa and Roosevelt Hotel in Los Angeles last night. How exciting!!!!! Look at all the flashing light bulbs! Hey, that guy in the baseball cap, it's Romo!!! Call FOX News!!



I'm sure that if this is typical for anytime Tony goes out in public with Jess it will have absolutely no effect on Tony's ability to function at a high level in the NFL.

UPDATE! According to UsMagazine.com, while at Villa between "singing and dancing with everyone," Simpson gave Romo a lap dance to Shakira and Wyclef Jean’s "Hips Don’t Lie." Romo also "drank champagne from the bottle" as the DJ played Grease’s "You’re The One That I Want." This is going to end so well.

UPDATE #2! More from UsMagazine.com... Accepting his Cosmo magazine Fun Fearless Males 2008 award today, Romo told the audience that he was repeatedly asked what makes a fun, fearless male. Romo noted that other recipients are past flames of his girlfriend Jessica Simpson. "I was thinking, you have John Mayer, Dane Cook," he said. "If you date Jessica Simpson, I guess you're fun and fearless." Fun and fearless, stupid and horny... same thing.

Tonica visited Hawaii this past weekend

Our favorite punky QB, Tony Romo, was in Hawaii for the Pro Bowl and of course he brought along his team wrecker girlfriend Jessica Simpson. While in Hawaii, Tony and to sat down for an interview with Fox Sports and as was to be expected, Jess' name came up.

Fox Sports: Tony, how do you have to change your life now because of all the attention your relationship with Jessica is getting?

to: "I think he's in way over his head."

Romo: "(Smiling) Definitely not. I don't read the stuff like everyone else does, so it doesn't affect me. If I were to watch and read everything that is written and said, as a human being it would probably be difficult...I came to an understanding a little while back that no one is going to remember me in five or seven years anyway so let them talk and say what they want to say.

to is right. The boy from Illinois has no idea what he is doing, but that's ok since I hate the Cowboys and anything that undermines their success is a win-win for me.

When you think about, T-Romo is right too. No one IS going to remember him in five or seven years.

H/T: Popsugar

Ashlee Simpson loves Tony Romo

Good news Cowboys fans. Your punky QB is in good with his girlfriend's sibling and her boyfriend. Do we hear wedding bells in the future?

"I love him!" the singer, 23, gushed to Usmagazine.com at the Pure TV Grammy party at Goa nightclub in Hollywood last night.

When asked if she is happy for Jessica, she replied, "Absolutely happy. He is really cool."

Added Ashlee’s beau, Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz: "He is a cool dude."

Wow. The Ashlee endorsement and the endorsement of one of his Illinois homeboys. An Illinois homeboy that has attempted suicide (allegedly), had nude photos of himself posted on the Internet, and is sexually attracted to men, but still...

I cannot wait for football season to start in the fall.

Tony Romo is a whipped puppy

Did you see T-Romo at the Super Bowl yesterday, taking in all the action, raking in the babes, schmoozing the suits? Oh, that's right... he wasn't there. Here's where he was...



PARTY!!!!

No, I'm not jealous. Fuck you.

H/T: The Big Lead

Super Bowl XLII: How did we get here?

As you get ready to settle in for the big one, take a moment to see how this all came to be.

NEW ENGLAND...


NEW YORK...


Video by travis122TV and the graphic by buddnice. Well done, folks.

Jessica Simpson has no clue who is playing in the Super Bowl

Upon arrival at JFK Jessica Simpson was asked by a photographer who she was rooting for in Sunday's Super Bowl. You know, the one with the NEW ENGLAND Patriots playing the NEW YORK Giants.

Her answer, "Go Cowboys!"

If only she knew someone involved with the NFL.



She is going to be so disappointed when she sees Tony sitting in the stands next to her at the big game and not on the field.

Here's some pics of her leaving her NYC hotel room last night. That's quite the ensemble she is wearing. Someone needs to tell Dakota Fanning that Jess has her coat.

Yes, Cowboys fans, Jessica Simpson does in fact hate you

Just to PROVE once again that Tony Romo is without a shadow of a doubt HER GUY, Daisy Duke herdamnself was spotted sporting a camo Cowboys cap. Although unconfirmed*, I think her pet dog's name is Antonio.



Just out of curiousity, has anyone seen or heard from Gisele this week? I didn't think so.

*Completely made up by me.

Tony Romo is not a pussy

And he proved it last night by defying the chants of the audience. Romo and Jessica Simpson visited Metal Skool karaoke night in West Hollywood last night and they wanted him to come on stage and sing. He refused, so the crowd started chanting, "Pussy!" Well, he showed 'em by dropping a rendition of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" on them. Someone tell me, why is it always Journey?



And here's the big news: "They ate off each other’s plates!" OMG, NFW!

According to the 100%* reliable flatusyahu (who has a beautiful watermarked-to-the-bejeezus photo of T-Romo looking worse for wear last night), he was also spotted steadying the impaired Miss Simpson as they left the club last night. Gosh, they are just like Romeo and Juliet, aren't they? So, which one dies first?

(*Margin of error +/- 90%)

UPDATE: Here's a whole bunch more pics of the lovely couple last night.

Us Magazine

The whole Romo-Simpson thing just gets weirder

Yesterday we reported that Tonica is on the rocks. Later in the day Jessica Simpson's attorney fired off a letter denouncing the whole story as a complete fabrication and wanting OK! magazine to "immediately publish a prominent and unambiguous" retraction. But now the National Enquirer is getting into the fray.

Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has dumped Jessica Simpson and is going to propose marriage on Valentine’s Day to his college sweetheart, the Enquirer has learned exclusively.

And here’s a shocker for Jessica: The entire time Tony was dating her, he was two-timing her with Crystal Kasper - a 25-year-old optometrist he first fell for during his student days at Eastern Illinois University.

“If you could see Tony’s phone bill from all the calls and text messages he sends Crystal, you’d be stunned,” said an insider close to the quarterback.

“They couldn’t hook up much during the season. She was finishing her doctoral studies in Florida. But I know Tony flew Crystal to a game in Chicago where they spent time together.

“Tony’s family is happy because he’s dumped Jessica and the Hollywood scene.”

So now we have rumors that not only is T-Romo dumping Jess, he's been cheating on her with an optometrist. I want to see this optometrist! And if this is true and he WAS seeing both women at the same time, I am sure it was no distraction at all for him during the playoffs.

Even Tony Romo is sick of Jessica Simpson

Rumor has it that Tonica is on the rocks. A few weeks too late if you are a Cowboys fan though. Or maybe it's simply that their contract is up now that football season is over and this is how they are playing it out. Supposedly they are on the outs so Tony decided to push her over the edge by taking her on a hunting trip, something he figured she'd hate.

On Jan. 17, Tony called Jessica at her L.A. home to try to break things off. "He said he thought it was better if they went back to being friends," a pal of the singer tells OK!. "'Just friends' is not in Jessica's vocabulary, and she is not a victim. She knows how bad this will look in the media."

But according to the pal, Jessica refused to give up, and so Tony invited her on what he thought would be the worst date of her life: a hunting trip! "It's Tony's way of punishing Jess," laughs her friend. "Jessica Simpson hunting — and without her entourage? Forget it!"

Oh, this relationship is going to last forever. I mean just look at how concerned Jess is with how it will look to the media making sure the two lovebirds stay together.

... according to an insider,"Tony has finally started to realize how high-maintenance Jessica is," says her friend. "We're talking diva status. She comes with an entourage, and that includes her dad, Joe Simpson."

No word on whether Romo was seen in a walking boot on the trip, but we'll keep you posted.

UPDATE: Jess is in full spin mode.

Jessica Simpson wants to humiliate Tony Romo some more

Not happy with merely torpedoing his season (I am taking the irrational Cowboys fan point of view for this post only), sultry songstress Jessica Simpson now wants to degrade her beau Tony Romo even further. Jess is in the process of recording her next album and has asked him to join her for a song. A country duet. Look out for the next Johnny and June Cash!

"Jessica has been schooled in publicity tricks by her manager dad, Joe, and she knows that a duet with Tony will attract major attention," reports the ever-reliable National Enquirer.

I told you this whole affair was a traveshamockery.

Jess, why don't you just cut his nuts off and be done with it? It'd be less painful... for his fans.

UPDATE: I just remembered that this wouldn't be the first time that Tony has crooned for his fans. Remember the awesome Journey cover he did with Metal Skool and uh, Mr. Belding?

For Tony Romo there's always a bright side

The now very famous (infamous?) Ryan Parker, he of the wonderful sports song parodies, could just not leave this whole Tony Romo thing alone. God bless him.

Ohhhh... that's a shame

Have a fun offseason, Tony.

Tony Romo is full of crap

Remember how I brought up the speculation that the whole Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson love affair might be a big pile of feces, perpetrated on the public to generate some heat for Jess' in the toilet career? Well, that theory has gained a shitload of momentum this week as BOTH Carrie Underwood and Sophia Bush have issued denials that they ever dated the Cowboys punky QB.

Carrie Underwood wants you to know she wasn’t crying over her split from Dallas Cowboys’ quarterback Tony Romo — in fact, she claims they were never together. "He was not my boyfriend and we were never dating," the country star, 24, told the January/February issue of Women’s Health.

"The more I screamed 'We’re not dating!' the more headlines claimed that we were a couple or that I was crying because he was out with another girl."

Tony, Tony, Tony... what the fuck, man? You poser.

'One Tree Hill' star Sophia Bush has denied claims she once dated Jessica Simpson’s boyfriend, Tony Romo. "Tony Romo and I never dated," she tells America’s OK! magazine. "We went out to dinners. We had that moment when we realized that we’re gonna be friends. We were looking for different things."

I guess if people are going go around saying you're dating hot pieces of ass in the press, why tell them otherwise, huh? Unless, of course, they are linking you to insane pieces of ass (and by insane, I mean batshit crazy, not ultra-hot). Then you set the record straight.



Us Magazine | OK! Magazine

Wade Phillips doesn't care about his season going into the crapper

By now everyone is aware of Tony Romo's little jaunt to Mexico with his GFF Jessica Simpson. Many Cowboys fans found this bit of information to be a bit jarring and are concerned about where their QB's head is at with a big playoff game approaching. (Myself, I know where his head has been and am jealous as hell.) One person that is not the least bit concerned is the head coach of the 'Boys.

"[Romo's] a celebrity and he's dating a celebrity," coach Wade Phillips said. "I try to treat my players like grown men. Everybody has their own private life. Everyone on our team that's not married dates somebody."

Sure. Makes sense. Treating NFL players like grown men has worked wonders over the past year.



'Boys wideout Patrick Crayton echoed Wade's sentiments, "Hey, hey, we're talking about the game this week. We can talk about Cancun after the Super Bowl."

Or after the Giants game this weekend. Either one will work.

H/T: Hashmarks

Tony Romo is primed and ready to play

In case you were wondering what RomoSimpson were doing down in Cabo as Tony gets prepared for the playoffs, here's an update.

After landing at the Cabo San Lucas Mexico airport, Simpson and Romo were spotted, "rubbing each others butts and laughing on the tarmac," an eyewitness tells Usmagazine.com.

Later, the group — which included a few of Romo’s teammates and families, as well as Simpson’s parents, Joe and Tina — checked into a rented home nearby.

"Tony couldn't stop touching Jessica," an eyewitness tells Us.

Uh, yeah. Why would he? Hello! She's Daisy Fuckin' Duke, man.



So how much are you putting on the Giants this week?