Betty White rules all of us!

I will marry Betty White before everything is said and done:

Drug mule? Pat O'Brien? Briefcase full of cocaine? I love this woman.

Height requirements are NOT a suggestion

Chris here. Let's get this out of the way now: when taking your children to the amusement park, make damn sure you respect the fact the rides there can hurt, maim and perhaps even kill you, much like the escalator in the mall.

Well, at least the dad (or guardian) was there to kinda catch him...

Kate Beckinsale inspires the Indiana Jones in us

Chris here and I'm coming with some news that should inspire us all to take up archeology... In an interview with Allure, as pointed out by Holy Moly, Ms. Beckinsale talks a little about her sex life, or an apparent lack thereof:

"I've only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh's Tomb!"


Interesting name you've got for it, there Kate. Besides images of dusty clap-traps, I'm also getting images of Indiana Jones, embarking on one of his quests for fortune and glory. In this case, it would only be a search for glory.

This also comes across as a call for Egyptologists around the world to embark on search for Kate's Pharaoh's Tomb. If you need an assistant, you know where to find me.

Fire ants are the devil

As a person that's spent time in Alabama as a youth, I'm fully aware of the pain and irritation fire ants can cause. And now, so is Marcos Paulo, who, while playing in the São Paulo's third division state championship was swarmed by these evil bastards during the game.

Apparently, Paulo stepped on their mound, something they don't like, at all. Needless to say, their reaction was one of biting and stinging, which makes for an entertaining video. Although, as a victim of fire ant attacks myself, I don't think Paulo was entertained very much at all:

Fortunately, Paulo was able to rid himself of those red devils during the halftime (he showered). Bonus: He almost received a Yellow Card for taking off his jersey on the field.

H/T to The Offside.

Mariah Carey is still hot

And apparently, she likes dudes from the Geek Squad.

Ah, there's nothing like using your body to keep yourself relevant. And to think, the girl could actually sing if she wouldn't rely on histrionics so much.

Hat-tip to Hollywood Tuna.

Holy shit, dude

What up, peeps? Chris again. I don't know if this is ballsy or stupid or just plain, old being unlucky, but whatever drove this decision made for some pretty impressive video. Observe:

Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, Toto! It's a twister! It's a twister!

Actually Johnny, it's two twisters.

Foreign commercials are so much better

You know, they say Europeans are much more liberated when it comes to things related to sex and judging from these commercials, they were right. This first one is just incredible:

If that happened at my copier, I'd never leave its side... This next one is truly the only way to open a beer:

How come they never had those kinds of bottle openers when I go to the liquor store?

Oh yeah, this is Chris from IntentionalFoul.com and I'll be here pitching in... and to help guide you on your way.