Gentlemen, start your lesbian fantasies IV

And God created woman indeed. I heard but cannot confirm that when Heidi Klum and Marisa Miller were both eventually in this same room together that there was something sort of like a sonic boom. I mean, it makes, sense. You can't have two women this hot in the same vicinity without some sort of atmospheric disruption, can you?



So tell me girls, if you were one of the two women on the fringes of the pictures below (no idea who they are), and you thought of yourself as relatively attractive as I am sure those women do, would you really want to pose in a picture with Heidi and Marisa? I mean those two are gonna make a lot of women look ugly by comparison. I'm just sayin'.

Yeah, I changed the title after the initial publishing of this post. It just made sense. Especially after I started having lesbian fantasies.



Gentlemen, start your lesbian fantasies III
Gentlemen, start your lesbian fantasies II
Gentlemen, start your lesbian fantasies I

Heidi Klum? Yeah, she's attractive

How old is Heidi Klum now anyway? Seems like she's been around forever. Time is not doing anything to hurt her body, I will say that. These pictures from Arena magazine prove it. I always thought that Heidi took the baton from Elle MacPherson when it came to the best body on a supermodel when Elle went into semi-retirement back in the day.



Turns out Heidi is only 34, but she's been modeling since 1992, when she was 18, so it wasn't just me thinking that she's been around forever, she has been modeling for almost her her life and for almost %^#@ of my life.

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet? (Elite 8)

Every year publications with reputations for knowing what hot is put out their lists of the sexiest women in the world. Unfortunately the people doing the voting for those publications are morons. Lindsay Lohan? Beyonce? Jessica Alba? Heather Mills? Britney Spears? That's the best they could come up with? None of those ladies even made our Sweet Sixteen, let alone our Elite Eight.

Hey, hey! We're down to the Sweet Elite Eight! It's been a rough-and-tumble affair (rowrrr...), but we're almost done. Many beautiful women have come and gone and these eight ladies are the ones you have chosen to participate in the final battles. Will it be Kate? Monica? Megan? Charisma? How about Marisa? Or Bar? Or maybe Heidi? Or Adriana? How can we possibly choose the final four?! Choose we must...

Megan Fox | Monica Bellucci ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Megan Fox 64.4% - Monica Bellucci 35.6%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Charisma Carpenter | Bar Refaeli ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Charisma Carpenter 50.3% - Bar Refaeli 49.7%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Kate Beckinsale | Heidi Klum ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Kate Beckinsale 65.2% - Heidi Klum 35.8%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Marisa Miller | Adriana Lima ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Marisa Miller 63.6% - Adriana Lima 36.4%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

The rest of the best:
THE SWEET SIXTEEN
Marisa Miller | Sandra Nilsson : Miller 83.5% - Nilsson 16.5%
Bar Refaeli | Petra Nemcova : Refaeli 57.0% - Nemcova 43.0%
Heidi Klum | Cheryl Tweedy : Klum 53.1% - Tweedy 46.9%
Adriana Lima | Keeley Hazell : Lima 50.8% - Hazell 49.2%
Kate Beckinsale | Shakira : Beckinsale 81.5% - Shakira 18.5%
Susan Ward | Monica Bellucci : Bellucci 57.9% - Ward 42.1%
Stacy Keibler | Megan Fox : Fox 62.7% - Keibler 37.3%
Emmanuelle Chriqui | Charisma Carpenter : Carpenter 70.1% - Chriqui 29.9%

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND TWO HERE. Those eliminated include: Jennifer Garner, Brooke Burke, Kelly Brook, Leeann Tweeden, Charlize Theron, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Elisha Cuthbert, Rachel McAdams, Ali Larter, Sofia Vergara, Torrie Wilson, Penelope Cruz, Keira Knightley, Jessica Alba, and Eva Mendes.

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND ONE HERE. Those eliminated include: Miranda Kerr, Reese Witherspoon, Christina Aguilera, Ingrid Vandebosch, Jessica Simpson, Shania Twain, Gabrielle Union, Jaime Pressly, Natalie Portman, Rihanna, Elin Nordegren, Alyssa Milano, Maria Menounos, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Joanna Krupa, Beyonce Knowles, Minka Kelly, Angelina Jolie, Katherine Heigl, Salma Hayek, Nelly Furtado, Willa Ford, Carmen Electra, Ciara, Amanda Bynes, Sophia Bush, Gisele Bundchen, Rachel Bilson, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, and Alessandra Ambrosio.

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet? (Sweet 16)

Every year publications with reputations for knowing what hot is put out their lists of the sexiest women in the world. Unfortunately the people doing the voting for those publications are morons. Lindsay Lohan? Beyonce? Jessica Alba? Heather Mills? Britney Spears? That's the best they could come up with? None of those ladies even made our Sweet Sixteen and with good reason. Take a look...

Okay, then. Maybe I was wrong about this only getting harder as you folks voted decisively for each winner in our first matches of the Sweet Sixteen. Kate Beckinsale destroyed Shakira, Monica Bellucci blew by Susan Ward, Megan Fox slammed Stacy Keibler, and Charisma Carpenter slayed Emmauelle Chriqui. Fine, smart guys (and gals), let's see who you got now! Let's show those FHM people!

Marisa Miller | Sandra Nilsson ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Marisa Miller 83.5% - Sandra Nilsson 16.5%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Bar Refaeli | Petra Nemcova ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Bar Refaeli 57.0% - Petra Nemcova 43.0%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Heidi Klum | Cheryl Tweedy ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Heidi Klum 53.1% - Cheryl Tweedy 46.9%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Adriana Lima | Keeley Hazell ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Adriana Lima 50.8% - Keeley Hazell 49.2%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

The rest of the best:
THE SWEET SIXTEEN
Kate Beckinsale | Shakira : Beckinsale 81.5% - Shakira 18.5%
Susan Ward | Monica Bellucci : Bellucci 57.9% - Ward 42.1%
Stacy Keibler | Megan Fox : Fox 62.7% - Keibler 37.3%
Emmanuelle Chriqui | Charisma Carpenter : Carpenter 70.1% - Chriqui 29.9%

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND TWO HERE. Those eliminated include: Jennifer Garner, Brooke Burke, Kelly Brook, Leeann Tweeden, Charlize Theron, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Elisha Cuthbert, Rachel McAdams, Ali Larter, Sofia Vergara, Torrie Wilson, Penelope Cruz, Keira Knightley, Jessica Alba, and Eva Mendes.

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND ONE HERE. Those eliminated include: Miranda Kerr, Reese Witherspoon, Christina Aguilera, Ingrid Vandebosch, Jessica Simpson, Shania Twain, Gabrielle Union, Jaime Pressly, Natalie Portman, Rihanna, Elin Nordegren, Alyssa Milano, Maria Menounos, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Joanna Krupa, Beyonce Knowles, Minka Kelly, Angelina Jolie, Katherine Heigl, Salma Hayek, Nelly Furtado, Willa Ford, Carmen Electra, Ciara, Amanda Bynes, Sophia Bush, Gisele Bundchen, Rachel Bilson, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, and Alessandra Ambrosio.

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet? (R2)

You know the drill by now. Others have tried with poor levels of success to determine who the sexiest woman in the world is...

Maxim: Lindsay Lohan WRONG!
AskMen: Beyonce Knowles Eh.
FHM USA: Jessica Alba Maybe.
FHM Britain: Heather Mills Uh, What?
Hello: Britney Spears Now they're just messing with us.

We can do better.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This is why I try not to make predictions in this tournament. I would have bet on Penny Cruz moving further, as well as Sofia Vergara, but the people have spoken. Sandra Nilsson, Petra Nemcova, and Stacy Keibler all move on to round three with Penny, Sofia, and Torrie Wilson grabbing some bench. Not that I am complaining about the winners, of course. They're wicked sexy. Anyway, we're one step closer to crowning our queen. So, who you got in these next three matches? Elisha or Monica? Heidi or Rachel? Ali or Shakira? Life is so full of tough decisions, isn't it?

Ali Larter | Shakira ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Shakira 51.4% - Ali Larter 48.6%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Heidi Klum | Rachel McAdams ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Heidi Klum 58.4% - Rachel McAdams 41.6%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Elisha Cuthbert | Monica Bellucci ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Monica Bellucci 52.7% - Elisha Cuthbert 47.3%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP


The rest of the best:
ROUND TWO
Charlize Theron | Bar Refaeli
Jessica Biel | Marisa Miller
Charisma Carpenter | Scarlett Johansson
Susan Ward | Jennifer Garner
Brooke Burke | Keeley Hazell
Emmanuelle Chriqui | Kelly Brook
Cheryl Tweedy | Leeann Tweeden
Stacy Keibler | Sofia Vergara : Keibler 60.2% - Vergara 39.8%
Petra Nemcova | Torrie Wilson : Nemcova 56.4% - Wilson 43.6%
Penelope Cruz | Sandra Nilsson : Nilsson 57.7% - Cruz 42.3%
Keira Knightley | Kate Beckinsale : Beckinsale 76.8% - Knightley 23.2%
Megan Fox | Jessica Alba : Fox 53.0% - Alba 47.0%
Adriana Lima | Eva Mendes : Lima 58.5% - Mendes 41.5%

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND ONE HERE. Those eliminated include: Miranda Kerr, Reese Witherspoon, Christina Aguilera, Ingrid Vandebosch, Jessica Simpson, Shania Twain, Gabrielle Union, Jaime Pressly, Natalie Portman, Rihanna, Elin Nordegren, Alyssa Milano, Maria Menounos, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Joanna Krupa, Beyonce Knowles, Minka Kelly, Angelina Jolie, Katherine Heigl, Salma Hayek, Nelly Furtado, Willa Ford, Carmen Electra, Ciara, Amanda Bynes, Sophia Bush, Gisele Bundchen, Rachel Bilson, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, and Alessandra Ambrosio.

Heidi Klum should always wear nothing but bodypaint

When you look like Heidi Klum, really why not just wear bodypaint everyday, including the panties? Do you think anyone would object? And now that I think about it, maybe all hot women should wear nothing but bodypaint. Man, I am cutting edge.



Okay fine, she can wear a hat and maybe a coat if she gets chilly. She just isn't allowed to button the coat.

Heidi Klum jumps on a tramp; gives Ellen a stiffy

Heidi Klum is making the talk show rounds hyping the stupid-ass show Project Runway Despite the fact that she is shilling for one of the dumbest shows ever, I have to admit that she really knows what sells: Her ass jumping up and down on a trampoline, as evidenced by this clip of her on Jimmy Kimmel...

Heidi also knows that her ass in a really short dress makes people want to watch anything regardless of how inane it is. Ellen could barely stand up after this interview due to the massive wood he was sporting.

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet?

There have been many attempts to determine who the sexiest woman in the world is at various times throughout history. Maxim tries it every year. FHM does too. AskMen.com does as well. The results of their polls are dubious at best. (see Lohan, Lindsay). Are you really going to sit there and tell me that Lindsay Lohan is the sexiest woman in the whole world, Maxim reader? C'mon. Beyonce? I guess... Jessica Alba? Getting warmer.

I think that YOU and I can do better. So, I am taking names off of those two lists, adding and subtracting where I see fit, and letting you decide who REALLY is the sexiest woman on the planet.

I am also reserving the final three spots for the ladies who are suggested the most by you, the reader. So let me know who I am missing and who MUST be on this list.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Our latest match was like our first match between Jessica Alba and Alessandra Ambrosio in that I am going to make half of you mad. In our second closest vote, Stacy Keibler proved to be the better woman over Angelina Jolie. Sorry Angie fans. Moving on, our next battle pits actress Minka Kelly against supermodel Heidi Klum. Will it be the new blood moving on? Or will the legend prove too much? It's your call...

Minka Kelly | Heidi Klum ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Heidi Klum 67.5% - Minka Kelly 32.5%

CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

The rest of the best:
Christina Aguilera | ______________Your Choice
Keira Knightley | Beyonce Knowles
Joanna Krupa | Ali Larter
Adriana Lima | Lindsay Lohan
Eva Longoria | Rachel McAdams
Eva Mendes | Maria Menounos
Alyssa Milano | Marisa Miller
Petra Nemcova | Elin Nordegren
Sandra Nilsson | Jaime Pressly
Natalie Portman | Bar Refaeli
Rihanna | Shakira
Jessica Simpson | Charlize Theron
Shania Twain | Leeann Tweeden
Cheryl Tweedy | Gabrielle Union
Ingrid Vandebosch | Susan Ward
Torrie Wilson | ______________Your Choice
Reese Witherspoon | ______________Your Choice
Angelina Jolie | Stacy Keibler : Keibler 51.5% - Jolie 48.5%
Katherine Heigl | Scarlett Johansson : Johansson 57.4% - Heigl 42.6%
Salma Hayek | Keeley Hazell : Hazell 58.9 - Hayek 41.1%
Nelly Furtado | Jennifer Garner : Garner 58.0 - Furtado 42.0%
Megan Fox | Willa Ford : Fox 81.0% - Ford 19.0%
Elisha Cuthbert | Carmen Electra : Cuthbert 55.9 - Electra 44.1%
Ciara | Penelope Cruz : Cruz 71.7% - Ciara 28.3%
Amanda Bynes | Charisma Carpenter : Carpenter 66.2% - Bynes 33.8%
Brooke Burke | Sophia Bush : Burke 62.6% - Bush 37.4%
Gisele Bundchen | Kelly Brook : Brook 59.2% - Bundchen 40.8%
Jessica Biel | Rachel Bilson : Biel 66.6% - Bilson 33.4%
Monica Bellucci | Halle Berry : Bellucci 69.1% - Berry 30.9%
Jennifer Aniston | Kate Beckinsale : Beckinsale 78.6% - Aniston 21.4%
Jessica Alba | Alessandra Ambrosio : Alba 50.5% - Ambrosio 49.5%