Elisha Cuthbert owns a lot of bikinis

Good thing that Dion Phaneuf's Calgary Flames lost in the playoffs or we wouldn't have all these friggin' Elisha Cuthbert bikini photos.



Are you getting tired of me posting photos of Elisha on the beach? BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry... bad joke.

Elisha Cuthbert and hockey boy are still playing at the beach

The comeback campaign being put on by Elisha Cuthbert is nothing short of spectacular these days. Who knew that all she needed was some hockey dick to get her back on the track to hotness?



However, some Canadian hockey fans aren't quite as thrilled about Dion Phaneuf's beach vacation with Elisha as we are.

BONUS: If you look REALLY, REALLY hard at the last picture below, you can see nip.

Elisha Cuthbert in a bikini? Sure, why not?

Since y'all like Elisha Cuthbert so much, especially since she is in the midst of such a tremendous comeback from averageness, I thought I'd toss you a bone with some bikini pics. It's just the kind of guy I am. And yes that is her new beau hockey guy, Dion Phaneuf, in one of the pics below. I think I hate him.



Looking at that almost makes me wish I knew how to play hockey. You know, so she'd like me, and want to have sex with me and all that.

Elisha Cuthbert really, really likes hockey players

Noted NHL fan and sometime blogger Elisha Cuthbert has apparently been able to move on from her past relationship with the Rangers' Sean Avery. Moved on to a completely different hockey player, that is. She is seen here walking with Dion Phaneuf from the Calgary Flames, which in my book automatically means he is having sex with her.



I guess she's also moved on from making out with Paris Hilton too, huh? Now if you pervs look really close at some of the pictures below, you can see that the sun enables us you to see her bra.

FHM gives us a preview of their 100 Sexiest for 2008

Tomorrow FHM releases their annual 100 Sexiest Women in the World list. A list that we have derided (among others) and forced us to create our own little poll in order to get it right. They were kind enough to let us know who this year's top 10 includes in advance of tomorrow's big announcement, so let's see if their people did any better this year by comparing the FHM Top 10 to how our brilliant readers have voted thus far in our contest.



10. Keira Knightley - Buzzzz. Didn't make it out of Round Two.

9. Angelina Jolie - Fail. Lost in Round One.

8. Hilary Duff - Crickets. Not in our field of 64.

7. Cheryl Tweedy - Alive and kickin' in the Sweet 16.

6. Scarlett Johansson - Wrongo. Lost in Round Two.

5. Hayden Panettiere - Zzzzz. Not in our field of 64.

4. Elisha Cuthbert - Nope. Took the pipe in Round Two.

3. Keeley Hazell - Made our Sweet 16 so far.

2. Jessica Alba - Lost in the Second Round. Had a wicked opponent.



1. Megan Fox - Still alive and winning her match in the Sweet 16.

Those in our Sweet 16 not making their Top 10 include: Kate Beckinsale, Shakira, Susan Ward, Monica Bellucci, Stacy Keibler, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Charisma Carpenter, Adriana Lima, Heidi Klum, Bar Refaeli, Petra Nemcova, Marisa Miller, and Sandra Nilsson.

So yeah, you can see why we're having our own poll.

Elisha Cuthbert is making a comeback

At one point Elisha Cuthbert was on the verge of becoming one of the hottest women of her generation, then she dated uberdouche Sean Avery, cut off all her golden hair and kinda got boring looking. That's right. That just happened. So it's nice to see her cleaning up and posing for a lad magazine. Long overdue, Lish!



Now THAT is what I'm talking about! Lord love the airbrush and hair extensions.



More Elisha hotness here: Maxim

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet? (R2)

You know the drill by now. Others have tried with poor levels of success to determine who the sexiest woman in the world is...

Maxim: Lindsay Lohan WRONG!
AskMen: Beyonce Knowles Eh.
FHM USA: Jessica Alba Maybe.
FHM Britain: Heather Mills Uh, What?
Hello: Britney Spears Now they're just messing with us.

We can do better.

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This is why I try not to make predictions in this tournament. I would have bet on Penny Cruz moving further, as well as Sofia Vergara, but the people have spoken. Sandra Nilsson, Petra Nemcova, and Stacy Keibler all move on to round three with Penny, Sofia, and Torrie Wilson grabbing some bench. Not that I am complaining about the winners, of course. They're wicked sexy. Anyway, we're one step closer to crowning our queen. So, who you got in these next three matches? Elisha or Monica? Heidi or Rachel? Ali or Shakira? Life is so full of tough decisions, isn't it?

Ali Larter | Shakira ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Shakira 51.4% - Ali Larter 48.6%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Heidi Klum | Rachel McAdams ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Heidi Klum 58.4% - Rachel McAdams 41.6%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

Elisha Cuthbert | Monica Bellucci ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Monica Bellucci 52.7% - Elisha Cuthbert 47.3%
CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP


The rest of the best:
ROUND TWO
Charlize Theron | Bar Refaeli
Jessica Biel | Marisa Miller
Charisma Carpenter | Scarlett Johansson
Susan Ward | Jennifer Garner
Brooke Burke | Keeley Hazell
Emmanuelle Chriqui | Kelly Brook
Cheryl Tweedy | Leeann Tweeden
Stacy Keibler | Sofia Vergara : Keibler 60.2% - Vergara 39.8%
Petra Nemcova | Torrie Wilson : Nemcova 56.4% - Wilson 43.6%
Penelope Cruz | Sandra Nilsson : Nilsson 57.7% - Cruz 42.3%
Keira Knightley | Kate Beckinsale : Beckinsale 76.8% - Knightley 23.2%
Megan Fox | Jessica Alba : Fox 53.0% - Alba 47.0%
Adriana Lima | Eva Mendes : Lima 58.5% - Mendes 41.5%

SEE ALL THE RESULTS OF ROUND ONE HERE. Those eliminated include: Miranda Kerr, Reese Witherspoon, Christina Aguilera, Ingrid Vandebosch, Jessica Simpson, Shania Twain, Gabrielle Union, Jaime Pressly, Natalie Portman, Rihanna, Elin Nordegren, Alyssa Milano, Maria Menounos, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Joanna Krupa, Beyonce Knowles, Minka Kelly, Angelina Jolie, Katherine Heigl, Salma Hayek, Nelly Furtado, Willa Ford, Carmen Electra, Ciara, Amanda Bynes, Sophia Bush, Gisele Bundchen, Rachel Bilson, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, and Alessandra Ambrosio.

The hottest hockey wives & girlfriends

Recently, hockey blog The Wicked Wrister did a nice little piece on the hottest wives and girlfriends in hockey. Obviously this is something I took great joy in viewing considering past posts I have written elsewhere.

Let's review a few of their picks and see how they did.

10. Candace Cameron-Bure. A no-doubter in my book, but one that caused our friend NFL Adam of The Hater Nation a lot of consternation in the past.

7. Rachel Hunter. This is one I didn't see coming as I had no idea she had ties to the NHL. Turns out she was rumored to have been engaged to Sean Avery and is now dating Jarret Stoll of the Edmonton Oilers. Who knew? Not me.

5. Willa Ford. Obviously we love Willa or she wouldn't have made our Sexiest Woman in the World tourney. She also made it to the semi-finals in our initial Hottest Wife/Girlfriend in all of Sports tournament, losing to another one of The Wicked Wrister's girls, Elisha Cuthbert (competing in our Sexiest Woman in the World tourney right now).

Be sure to head over there to check out the other lovely ladies they chose. Hard to argue with any of their picks, but I do think they missed one.

Kellie Pickler. Currently (?) dating Formerly dated Nashville's Jordin Tootoo. The question is, who would she replace?

Here's a few pics of Rachel and Willa you won't see on The Wicked Wrister's list. Think maybe they should have been ranked a little higher?

Who really is the sexiest female on the planet?

There have been many attempts to determine who the sexiest woman in the world is at various times throughout history. Maxim tries it every year. FHM does too. AskMen.com does as well. The results of their polls are dubious at best. (see Lohan, Lindsay). Are you really going to sit there and tell me that Lindsay Lohan is the sexiest woman in the whole world, Maxim reader? C'mon. Beyonce? I guess... Jessica Alba? Getting warmer.

I think that YOU and I can do better. So, I am taking names off of those two lists, adding and subtracting where I see fit, and letting you decide who REALLY is the sexiest woman on the planet.

I am also reserving the final three spots for the ladies who are suggested the most by you, the reader. So let me know who I am missing and who MUST be on this list.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Well that wasn't much of a contest. Penelope Cruz was the overwhelming favorite over the lovely Ciara, 71.7% to 28.3%. Hopefully our next duel will be a little tighter. The next two will not be unfamiliar names. Known hockey-lover Elisha Cuthbert takes on known gettin' nekkid-lover Carmen Electra for the right to move on to round two. Who you got?

Elisha Cuthbert | Carmen Electra ... click their name for another look

POLL CLOSED
Elisha Cuthbert 55.9% - Carmen Electra 44.1%

CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE ON THE NEXT MATCH-UP

The rest of the best:
Christina Aguilera | ______________Your Choice
Willa Ford | Megan Fox
Nelly Furtado | Jennifer Garner
Salma Hayek | Keeley Hazell
Katherine Heigl | Scarlett Johansson
Angelina Jolie | Stacy Keibler
Minka Kelly | Heidi Klum
Keira Knightley | Beyonce Knowles
Joanna Krupa | Ali Larter
Adriana Lima | Lindsay Lohan
Eva Longoria | Rachel McAdams
Eva Mendes | Maria Menounos
Alyssa Milano | Marisa Miller
Petra Nemcova | Elin Nordegren
Sandra Nilsson | Jaime Pressly
Natalie Portman | Bar Refaeli
Rihanna | Shakira
Jessica Simpson | Charlize Theron
Shania Twain | Leeann Tweeden
Cheryl Tweedy | Gabrielle Union
Ingrid Vandebosch | Susan Ward
Torrie Wilson | ______________Your Choice
Reese Witherspoon | ______________Your Choice
Ciara | Penelope Cruz : Cruz 71.7% - Ciara 28.3%
Amanda Bynes | Charisma Carpenter : Carpenter 66.2% - Bynes 33.8%
Brooke Burke | Sophia Bush : Burke 62.6% - Bush 37.4%
Gisele Bundchen | Kelly Brook : Brook 59.2% - Bundchen 40.8%
Jessica Biel | Rachel Bilson : Biel 66.6% - Bilson 33.4%
Monica Bellucci | Halle Berry : Bellucci 69.1% - Berry 30.9%
Jennifer Aniston | Kate Beckinsale : Beckinsale 78.6% - Aniston 21.4%
Jessica Alba | Alessandra Ambrosio : Alba 50.5% - Ambrosio 49.5%

Elisha Cuthbert is chilly in her bikini

We are going to overlook the fact that Elisha cut off all her beautiful golden locks and now has the head of a 10-year old boy because she was kind enough to finally get us off the Nicky Sheridan bikini train for at least minute or so. Brrr… just looking at her is making me cold … and uh … well … never mind.

And can we please stop having our hot women wear these fucking giant sunglasses that make them look like human bugs? Thank you.

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