Just in case you thought otherwise, Britney Spears is still crazy

If you're a loser like me you'll already know that Britney Spears is supposedly in the process of getting her shit straight. Like joining a gym and losing weight for example. But wait, before you go declaring her back on track, let's take a little peek into the gym where Brit-Brit is working out.



That's right. There's Brit! In a towel. Walking around the club.

[Britney] was working out at Bally's in Culver City on Monday and after she finished her routine, headed to the changing room to shower.

But after getting undressed, the singer headed back to the gym to collect a water bottle and was photographed walking through the crowded room bare foot with only a skimpy white towel to protect her modesty.

Sorry, honey, but really what is there to protect at this point?



KUTV

Interlude: Obvious

SOCCER: Mike Tyson offers to help troubled Gascoigne
MLB: Charges ahead for planted Sox shirt?
MLB: Fox apologizes for NASCAR switch
MLB: Leyland goes off on Tigers after 11-0 shellacking
MLB: Zambrano hasn't completely kicked caffeine habit
NFL: Bucs made promises to Garcia they haven't kept
NFL: Saints' Bush wants to hear MVP chants
TRACK: IAAF dismisses doping allegations against Greene
CELEB: Britney Spears in minor traffic accident in L.A.

Caption this: Britney Spears sunbathes naked

Today's special in our deli, ham - 99 cents a pound!

Blame The Beer Goggler for bringing this photo to my attention.

It's Lindsay-Britney nipple/sex tape day!

My two favorite disasters-waiting-to-happen were out and about this week. Of course I am referring to Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. And of course, neither girl felt the need to bra it up when she went out. Atta girls! Who needs to wear a cumbersome old bra anyway?!



Speaking of disasters-waiting-to-happen, Lindsay is reportedly in a sex tape with her ex-boyfriend Calum Best. There's even a picture from a camera phone of her supposedly shining the captain's helmet with her mouth. It's pretty grainy so I think it could be her, or it could be Richard Simmons, I'm not sure which. Stay tuned...

UPDATE: Here's the video in question courtesy of Dlisted.

UPDATE #2: Calum Best says it ain't her.

Britney Spears v.2008: Wouldja?

Yeah, we know she is batshit. We know she doesn't know how to dress herself anymore. We know her career is in the toilet. She is even being used to spam people. But there are reasons for still dropping the hammer on Brit-Brit. She's still very young (26), so she has the potential to be hot once again and she is loaded (average monthly income: $719,634). So tell me in the comments, and be honest... Wouldja?



Here's some reminders of the hotness that once was our Brit-Brit and some hope for the future.



More Wouldjas.

Britney Spears dresses like a princess

As you probably know by now, I feel it's my sworn duty to share anytime a lady slips a nip and gives a peek at her goodies. Unfortunately that credo comes with some drawbacks because Britney Spears does that on an almost daily basis since she is apparently dressed by the blind.



To top things off Britney-wise, she also has apparently forgotten how to drive (if she ever knew how in the first place). Tuesday morning she bought a new black Mercedes SLK 350, but tried to take a short cut home through the Hollywood Hills later in the day and got stuck on the steep roads. So she does what any sane person would do in a similar situation... Break out the British accent!





H/T: DrunkenStepfather

Britney Spears is actually a marketing genius

I'm serious. I no longer think she is crazy. I think her and her paparazzi boyfriend know exactly what they are doing. Name another celebrity who gets more ink than her. It's the old Donald Trump philosophy of public relations: "Any publicity is good publicity."

Anyway, Brit-Brit was out getting more of that sweet, sweet publicity the other day, giving everyone a nice full shot of her right boob on video. My guess is that a spread in Playboy Penthouse Hustler Club is merely a few short weeks away. (Skip to the 3:15 mark and put on your protective goggles.)

Good news! Heath Ledger is not dead!

At least according to Mensa member and voice of a generation Britney Spears he isn't.

When asked by photographers Thursday how she felt about actor Heath Ledger’s death, Britney Spears replied in her British accent, “He’s still here. Oh, yes. No one ever really dies. No one.” video

Good to know. I am sure the folks associated with "The Dark Knight" will be very glad to hear that.

When asked where her paparazzi boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib was at, she replied, “Who’s that?”

Again, very sane and normal. I don't know what all the fuss is about with regard to everyone saying Brit-Brit has a screw loose. People are really overreacting to the things Brit does and says.

I mean, what would possess George Clooney to say something like this anyway?

"... it turns out it's Britney Spears' house is like, 300 yards from mine. So now I have to move."

Oh well, at least we still have Jamie Lynn for hope.

Huffington Post

BREAKING NEWS: Dr. Phil diagnoses Britney's problem

(A&P) -- It has taken months and several visits to court, along with dozens of bizarre twists and turns, but the reason for Britney Spears' mental malfunctions has finally been diagnosed. It turns out that the pop star suffers from a condition known as multiple personality disorder (or dissociative identity disorder).

Multiple personality disorder (MPD) is a psychiatric disorder characterized by having at least one "alter" personality that controls behavior. The "alters" are said to occur spontaneously and involuntarily, and function more or less independently of each other.

"It has taken me many hours of contemplating and researching numerous suspicions, but I know with 100% certainty that Britney Spears can now finally receive the help she needs to return her to a normal state of mental being," says Dr. Phil McGraw. "It turns out that for her entire life she has been living a lie. Or at least half a lie."

So how did Dr. Phil figure come to this diagnosis? He tells us, "Once I realized that she won the Heisman Trophy and a national championship while playing tailback at Georgia in the 1980's, I knew exactly what the problem was."

Said her former coach, Vince Dooley: "That's all news to me. All I know is whatever personality he had when she had the football was the one I liked."

Victims of DID have usually experienced a severe, traumatic shock of some kind and most report being abused as children. Treatment for this illness involves integrating the various personalities into one and usually requires psychotherapy that may continue for years, according to Merck.

"Frankly I am amazed that she was able to carry the load for the Cowboys all those years under her other identity while still putting out chart-topping songs and touring the country filling arenas," says Dr. Phil. "Rather than making fun of her, the media needs to just appreciate what a superstar she really is and what she means to football fans everywhere."

Dr. Phil goes on to say that Britney's alter-ego uses the name "Herschel Walker" and pretends to be a large black man that claims to do thousands of sit-ups every day. McGraw says that they will also be working on her problem with exaggeration.

"I think her writing this book ('Breaking Free') is a great first step towards her recovery," says good friend Frank Ros, a Coca-Cola executive who played linebacker and was captain of Georgia's 1980 national championship team.

The book is expected to be on bookshelves in August. Shida Carr, the publicist, would offer no other details and declined to provide excerpts.

Even 15-year olds have more brains than Britney

Then again, this 15-year old inherited the mind of one of the great thinkers of our time in a Mr. Billy Ray Cyrus.



"I think it's so crazy and I think that she [Britney] needs help," she told Extra. "If I didn't have [my family], I'd probably be in the same position.

Britney doesn't have a family? Damn, then just who are Lynne and Jamie Lynne anyway? Imposters!

"You just got to know who your true friends are, and I think for me, is my mom," she added. "If you have sisters, I mean any girls that are in your family, that can understand and relate to you, I think is the best."

This from yet another product of the Disney hype machine (just like Britney was). She'll probably be downing crappacino's and snarfing bags of Cheeto's while fending off the advances of her ex-husband Shamrock on the evening pap shows, just like Brit, in 10 years.

And no this is not just some lame excuse to post some sweet shots of the lovely and talented Hannah Montana. Oh, who am I kidding? I would totally break about six or seven laws in the state of Georgia and go all Jerry Lee Lewis on her young stuff.



Us Magazine

Britney Spears just might be crazy

And I quote...

Britney Spears stunned sales staff at a Betsey Johnson store in Sherman Oaks, California on Sunday when she stepped out of a fitting room completely naked.

Yeah, that's right. Completely. Naked.



One store employee who witnessed Spears' shocking display tells Life & Style magazine, "I was blown away. Britney's private parts were right in front of me!

"I grabbed a dress to cover her and she screamed, 'Get away from me! Don't you *****ng come near me!'"

I have to assume she said "fucking" but have no direct confirmation.

Another employee says, "I couldn't understand a word she was saying. She was slurring and spitting, and talking with a British accent... I wanted to help her, but she was so mean that I left her alone."

British accent, huh? Maybe she thinks she is a British Margot Kidder now or something. I don't know. What a mess.

By the way, the photo is from June 25, 2007. Just another day that Brit-Brit decided to go clothing optional in a store.

UPDATE: It just keeps getting better. Apparently Brit and her paparazzi boy were looking at pregnancy tests yesterday. Oh boy.

H/T: Cele|bitchy

ABC News

Tony Romo is full of crap

Remember how I brought up the speculation that the whole Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson love affair might be a big pile of feces, perpetrated on the public to generate some heat for Jess' in the toilet career? Well, that theory has gained a shitload of momentum this week as BOTH Carrie Underwood and Sophia Bush have issued denials that they ever dated the Cowboys punky QB.

Carrie Underwood wants you to know she wasn’t crying over her split from Dallas Cowboys’ quarterback Tony Romo — in fact, she claims they were never together. "He was not my boyfriend and we were never dating," the country star, 24, told the January/February issue of Women’s Health.

"The more I screamed 'We’re not dating!' the more headlines claimed that we were a couple or that I was crying because he was out with another girl."

Tony, Tony, Tony... what the fuck, man? You poser.

'One Tree Hill' star Sophia Bush has denied claims she once dated Jessica Simpson’s boyfriend, Tony Romo. "Tony Romo and I never dated," she tells America’s OK! magazine. "We went out to dinners. We had that moment when we realized that we’re gonna be friends. We were looking for different things."

I guess if people are going go around saying you're dating hot pieces of ass in the press, why tell them otherwise, huh? Unless, of course, they are linking you to insane pieces of ass (and by insane, I mean batshit crazy, not ultra-hot). Then you set the record straight.



Us Magazine | OK! Magazine

The Day in Spears

Where to start? How about we start with the fact that Britney was carted off in an ambulance after K-Fed called the fuzz when came to pick up the kids and she went batshit? Yeah, let’s start there.

According to People,

At around 8 p.m. police responded to a call “about a custodial dispute regarding Britney Spears’s children,” said LAPD officer Jason Lee. Nearly three hours later, police determined that a court order stated that the singer’s children, who were with Spears at the time, were supposed to be with Kevin Federline, and a transfer was arranged, according to Lee. “While officers were on the scene, they observed Ms. Spears under the influence of an unknown substance,” Lee added. “She is now being taken in for an evaluation, more than likely to a hospital. There were no reported injuries to anyone involved including the children.”

Next up in the world of Spears, comes news from the National Enquirer that the paragon of mental stability, Brit-Brit, told her sis that she should get an abortion.

When Britney learned Jamie Lynn’s baby news, she called and had a showdown with her sister, telling her “not to ruin her life by going through with the pregnancy,” said a source.

“Britney told Jamie Lynn it was best for her to get an abortion and move on with her life and career and not to look back.”

Jamie Lynn’s mom also wanted her to get rid of the kid as well.

Lynne demanded that Jamie Lynn not keep that baby. At first, Jamie Lynn agreed, but then Casey talked her into keeping the baby.

Determined to have her way, Jamie Lynn threatened to run away, marry Casey, who’s 18, and go live with her big sister Britney, said another insider.

Not shockingly, according to The Sun, Jamie Lynn’s show on Nick has been canceled.

So sad. And here I was hoping that Jamie Lynn would beat Miley Cyrus to the hot at 18-years old contest I am running (in my head and pants).

Let’s try to remember this family the way we once did, shall we? Back when all we knew about was Brit and she looked like this…

Ah, those were the salad days.

UPDATE: According to Us Magazine, at the hospital, “They had to strap her down like a mental patient and she was going between laughing and hysterics,” the source adds, calling it “a total psychotic breakdown. She just went crazy.” Hahaha!

UPDATE #2: It appears that Britney is/was not on drugs. Which means she is merely insane. Awesome.