Mets pitcher John Maine has major wood for Jennifer Aniston

Eh, who doesn't?

Anyway, as I was saying, Mets pitcher John Maine, he of the not the guy in tranny outfits, has a little crush on this woman...



Says Maine in InTouch Weekly, "I just love her soft and natural, girl-next-door looks and the way she carries herself, her whole demeanor. Oh, yes, the hair. The hair is unbelievable! I think she just gets better looking as she gets older."

Are we sure John is straight? I'm just sayin'. He's getting a little too excited about her hair. And why is he talking to InTouch Weekly?

So, what if Mr. Maine actually met Jen-Jen?

"I’d probably be so nervous, I would trip over my feet. I guess I would take some pictures with her and give her a hug. Maybe she’ll contact me somehow and it will actually happen. Wow, how cool would that be?"

Dude, you're a major league pitcher. Sack up, and quit being such a puss! Damn. This chick is just looking for a dick. Witness here and here. Now get to it!